Before phones, before texting, before Facebook or Twitter if you wanted to talk to someone, you just had to walk up to them and say something. You were raw and vulnerable. The person could read your tone of voice, body language and facial expressions. But, today, with Tweets, pokes, “Likes” and status updates, there are a million ways to communicate. And even a million more ways to (mis) interpret them. But, these are Social Media Moves that usually mean someone is into you.
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The “friending”
If you meet someone for a short while at a bar, party or event, you didn’t give them your last name and wake up to a “Friend Request” the next day, they had to go through a lot of work to find you. Think about it: they may have had to ask other people if they knew you. Then, they had to search through that person’s friends on Facebook to find you. If you have a common first name, they may have clicked through ten Susan’s profile photos before finding you. And finally, they pushed that little “Send Friend Request” button. But, pressing that button wasn’t simple. They knew you’d think, “Wow! How did this person find me….?” And they had to decide if their interest in you was worth putting themselves out there like that. And they decided that it was.
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Video and article posts
No one who actually wants to pursue you romantically will flirt with you in a straightforward manner on Facebook. If somebody likes you, they have too much on the line to simply write, “I would love to see you again!” on your wall. The people who write things like that usually just want to be your friend. Someone who is interested in you will find backwards ways of communicating with you, like posting a video, article or photo on your wall that they think you’ll find interesting. And, more importantly, that will prompt you to message them to talk to about it. If you have someone posting videos/photos/articles on your wall regularly, that means they regularly think about you and when they found those things thought, “Oh! I know who would like this…”
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The Poke
What purpose does the “Poke” really serve? If you wanted to let someone know you were thinking about him or her you could write on his or her wall. If you wanted to dive into a conversation, you could message them. The poke has no direct purpose, and that is the point. It is a small way to let someone know you were thinking about him or her, without totally putting yourself out there. Look at the last ten people who poked you. Odds are they are people you haven’t spoken to in a long time, or are not very close to. The poke is great when you don’t feel it’s okay to just start talking to someone, and when you want to gage his or her interest. A poke is a way of just saying “Hi” and seeing if they say anything back.
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Relationship status
Your real friends will just call you when they see your relationship status change from “In a relationship” to “Single” on your Facebook. But, more importantly, they will have found out about it before it even went up on Facebook. Your “friends” who you actually never see or speak to, won’t say a thing about it. Your enemies will gossip about it. And finally, the people who are interested in you will message you. The moment you change that status, all the people who have been secretly interested in you come out of the Wood works. They won’t have commented on any of your posts, written on your wall or messaged you in an eternity. It’s no coincidence that they only reach out when you become single. So, if you’re ever wondering who is stalking you, just change that status as an experiment.
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The perpetual texter
The age of technology and social media is a great age for people who have no idea what they want. They are allowed to live in an in between limbo of having pseudo-relationships, all through the Internet or their phones. And that is exactly the type of person you are dealing with if you are dealing with the perpetual texter. This is somebody who you meet one night, hit it off with, and who ends up texting you for weeks and even months on end, without asking you out. They’ll text you every day or every week, starting a fun and flirtatious conversation, and then just end it. This person wants a relationship, but they also don’t because they’re afraid of commitment, or of being close to someone, or of having to actually impress someone. If you’ve been texting for over a week without a plan for a date, you’ll be texting forever.
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“Hi” and “Sup”
Sure, texting is a great way to just drop a quick note to someone or let him or her know you’re thinking about him or her. But, don’t forget, the entire alphabet is on that teeny tiny keyboard. So there’s no excuse for that person who just texts you “Hi” or “Sup,” never facilitating a real conversation. Typically, when this is happening, it’s because the person only wants to casually hook up with you, or wants to put in no effort whatsoever. Think about it: “Sup” is the absolute minimum effort they have to put in to potentially engage you. From there, if you’re dumb enough, you’ll say, “Hi! Not much! How are you?” and then they can say, “Good. U?” (Oh and another thing, don’t trust someone who abbreviates absolutely everything. That’s another person who doesn’t want to put in effort). Just because someone texts you “Hi” does not mean they deserve your time of day. That person is abusing the brevity of technology.
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DM’s on Twitter
Twitter is meant to be a highly public platform. Much of it runs on RT’s or Retweets meaning one user re posts something another user wrote and before you know it, your funny sentence has gone viral. Rarely—rarely—will someone Direct Message (DM) you on Twitter. Unless it’s to exchange highly confidential information, if someone messages you on there to just take the conversation to a more private area, or to get to speak more extensively with you past that 140 character limit, they usually have a romantic interest in you. In the real world, it’s similar to the guy at the bar that asks you to go for a walk. He wants to say things to you that he doesn’t want others to hear. And, he wants to show you that he thinks you’re special.
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