This article is for you if you’ve thought or said the following things:
“I have a child with a head full of hair and I don’t know what to do with it!”
“Oh baby, my child’s hair looks nothing like mine, what do I do?”
“Oh baby, my child’s hair is so dry/fine/curly/kinky/thick, I’m just trying to figure out how to keep it healthy!”
Are you a parent who is struggling to figure out how to deal with your child’s hair because they don’t have a similar texture to your own? You’ve mastered the art of your hair and then your bundle of joy comes into the world with a beautiful head of hair that you just can’t figure out. Or maybe you always go to the salon to care for your hair and it’s not a good idea to try and convince your two-year-old to sit still to get their hair done at the salon too. It’s a common problem that plenty of parents face, but I’m here to ease the struggle.
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According to Deborah R. Lilly, author of Wavy, Curly, Kinky: The African-American Child’s Hair Care Guide, your child’s hair is developing between birth and 4 years old. That means that your child’s hair texture can completely change during these years. So with that, be gentle with their hair and don’t over obsess with trying to “train” their hair to be more like yours.
This goes without saying but still needs to be said: DO NOT RELAX your child’s hair before the age of 12. With regards to the blow drying and straightening combo, it’s best to wait until their hair has fully developed, after 4 years old, and only do it sparingly. Heat damage is real and constantly straightening it can cause a child to lose their natural curl pattern. On the other end of that, over brushing or combing your child’s hair can be detrimental to their hair follicle. A parent trying to brush their child’s kinky hair into curls is not going to do anything but cause hair loss. Put the brush and fine tooth comb down, try sticking to wide tooth combs and only use after properly detangling hair.
With that said, one of the best things that a parent can do to make their child’s hair more manageable, regardless of their child’s texture or density of hair, is to properly detangle their hair (and that goes for your own hair as well). A good detangling job prior to washing the hair will help to make hair more manageable post. Detangle by sectioning the hair and then spritzing the hair with water. Gently pull tangles apart by hand, then braid or twist each section once you finish detangling it. If you wash hair with braids in tact, I promise it will go a long way. Co-washing (washing hair with conditioner) is good, so it helps to minimize how often you shampoo to just when you need to cleanse your child’s hair of excess residue/buildup.
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For moisture, that depends on the child’s hair follicle. Natural products that are free of parabens, sulfates, mineral oil and petroleum are the way to go – and they are not that hard to find. Most products will say on the packaging that they are free of the list above and you can find them in the aisles of Walmart, Walgreens, and Target. And yes, the baby lines are worthwhile because the products aren’t as heavy (if you have fine hair, use the baby products too!) and you do not want to weigh your child’s hair down with product. Shea Moisture, Carol’s Daughter, and Kinky Curly all offer baby products. You can also dilute some products with water to use in your child’s hair.
Some of the best products are found right in your kitchen cabinet. Tea Tree or Jojoba oil is great for the scalp. If your child has a dense, kinkier texture that tends to be dry, try a few drops of castor oil (use sparingly as it is a heavy oil). Coconut oil tends to be a great moisturizer for most people. For finer, curlier textures, tea tree or grapeseed oil will do the trick. Always start with a pea-sized amount and work your way up to figure out how much oil your child’s hair needs. You can over oil their hair. Also mixing a few drops of oil(s) with water in a spray bottle is great to quickly moisturize your child’s hair in the morning or before styling.
Now, if you are moisturizing your child’s hair but finding that the moisture doesn’t stay that means you need to seal the moisture by using a more solid type of product, better known as a “butter.” Whipped Shea butter, mango butter and certain whipped creamy products are good for sealing. Whipped Shea butter is usually constructed with oils and glycerin to make it less dense and more airy. Glycerin is a great product for moisture, but be careful because it’s a humectant and will attract moisture from the hair, which sounds great but will cause hair to take forever to dry and leave your child with a big poof ball for hair. But if you want your child to have big, plump twists, glycerin away. Want a defined braid out? Stick to natural oils and seal with a whipped Shea butter and/or mango butter.
There’s tons more information that I could provide, but this should get you off to a good start with better maintaining your child’s healthy hair. Remember that the healthy habits you start now will last them a lifetime. If you have anymore hair questions tweet me @jouelzy…oh baby, your child’s hair is beautiful!
Jouelzy offers tutorials on all aspects of Black hair care via her YouTube channel. You can also find her daily hair tips and inspirations on Facebook.
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