A relationship can be such a beautiful and fulfilling thing when it is shared between two level-headed and reasonable individuals who trust and respect one another. However, a needy and clingy person can transform the once enjoyable experience of being in a relationship into what feels like a nagging, festering sore. Dealing with a clingy partner in a relationship can be such an annoying and smothering experience and is very uncomfortable for both the “clinger” and the “clingee”. Clinginess is a trait that is commonly associated with women; however, clingy men are just as common. But, what separates neediness from affection and a healthy desire to spend time with your partner? Check out some of these tell-tale signs that you are dealing with a clingy man.
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He loses his cool anytime you miss a phone call
Okay, I believe anyone in a relationship would be a tad annoyed when their partner blatantly ignores their calls. It is very disrespectful and inconsiderate. However, if you find yourself in full blown screaming matches with your guy anytime you miss a phone call or you find yourself answering a barrage of questions such as “What were you doing?”, “Who were you with?”, “What was so important that you couldn’t answer the phone?” chances are you guy is on the clingy side.
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He doesn’t like when you go out
Separate friends and healthy amounts of time apart are good for any relationship. If you find that your guy is always sitting in the corner with the sour face, starts a fight, or gets a ridiculous attitude anytime you are getting ready to spend sometime with the girls or maybe even your family, chances are you’ve got a clinger on your hands. When you know for a fact that you make time for him and he is always acting as if you neglect him, it can be very frustrating.
He doesn’t have his own life
“If I’m not your everything, how about I be nothing”. Sigh, a quote from a Beyonce song hat has been ruining relationships since 2006. This is not a quote to be taken literally. Yes, your partner should be a very important aspect of your life,; however, it is unhealthy for them to be your entire life. It sets unrealistic expectations for your partner and places way to much pressure on you. If your guy has no other interests except going to work and being with you 24/7 that’s a problem.
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He’s always doing pop ups and drive-bys
LOL, if you find that your guy is constantly popping up at your job or your home unannounced talking about “I was just in the neighborhood and I figured we’d do lunch” or you’re constantly wondering whether your mind is playing tricks on you or if you really just saw his car speed pass your BFF’s house, you’ve got a clinger on your hands. He was not just “in the neighborhood”, he’s checking your story to make sure you are where you said you’d be. The occasional surprise is romantic, anything else is called stalking.
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He’s always asking if you love him
Love is most sincere when it’s given, not demanded. When you know for a fact that you shower you guy with plenty of love and affection, but he’s constantly asking if you love him, something is wrong. He’s insecure and is looking to be reassured of your feelings for him. It might be cute at first, but it gets old and annoying quickly.
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He makes plans with you just to ensure you aren’t with anyone else
Do you constantly find yourself bored to tears when you’re at your man’s house or wondering why he even invited you over because he’s paying attention to any and everything but you? The truth is he didn’t really want to spend time with you, he just wants you over because it gives him the comfort of knowing that you aren’t with anyone else.
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He’s constantly stressing at the thought of you cheating or leaving
It is normal for one to fear the loss of their partner; however, this fear becoming an obsession is indicative that there are deeper problems. An unreasonable fear of being cheating on or abandoned is usually the root of all other clingy behaviors.
Clinginess is most cases is a behavior that comes as a result of insecurity. The problem with people that struggle with insecurity is that the insecure person usually does not even want to feel that way. It is uncomfortable for both parties involved. Insecurity is an issue that needs to be worked out within, but can’t be fixed until the actual root of these feelings are uncovered. It takes a strong individual to be with an insecure partner but it is possible. Communication is key. Talk to your partner and find out why they may have these feelings. You never know, you may just be able to help them overcome.
Jazmine Denise is a New York City based Lifestyle & Relationship writer. Follow her on Twitter @jazminedenise
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