Attention bitter black men:
Please have a seat somewhere, preferably, *in my DMX voice* in the cut, where the woods at.
Sincerely,
The black community.
Yeah, I’m going to get right to it because I’m really short on time. No, I don’t have any place to be in particular, but I really don’t have the time anymore to deal with the bad attitudes and vibes of the dudes online. Yeah, I said it. Some of y’all menfolk really have some messed up attitudes. And while I in no way consider myself an expert on the emotional issues related to the XY chromosome, I have become the reluctant recipient of the mental assault unleashed by these unhappy individuals.
Let me take it back a bit to share with you all where exactly my angst comes from. Over the past, I say year or so, my Facebook news feed has been flooded with sexist and derogatory images about women, particularly black women. It all started with the animated videos of the men discussing what’s wrong with professional black women. And then it blossomed to almost weekly b***hery via comic strips, status updates and external links about everything these men perceive to be wrong with black women.
One widely circulated comic strip, which was made famous by its inclusion on Kevin Hart’s fan page, is of a guy being rejected by a group of women in high school for being a nerd and years later seeking his revenge on these same women by being a successful man, who is now out of their league. The caption to this particular strip said “A Strong Black Woman Doesn’t Mean You have an Attitude.” I don’t know what being a strong woman has to do with not liking nerds in high school but the message seemed to resonate with many men because it showed up on the pages of half of my friend’s list.
And then recently, like last week, I saw another anti-black woman comic strip being passed around, this time comparing black women in the ’70s with the modern black woman. In the picture, an afro-wearing woman is bestowed with values of her love of God, knowing how to cook and clean and being submissive to her man, all of which are suppose to be good. Whereas, the picture of the woman from 2009, who ironically rocks a blonde weave, doesn’t cook or clean, is shallow, strong and independent. Of course, these virtues are considered bad. The caption is the kicker for me: “Freedom from Mental Slavery.”
Wait, what? Talk about romanticizing a history that never was. Obviously they never heard of Elaine Brown or Angela Davis, two women with big Afros who would never include submission and dependency into their vocabulary. The whole thing is reminiscent of the episode of “Married with Children” when Al Bundy, pissed that some women were encroaching on his bowling night, created the “National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Master hood” or NO MA’AM. Yet this is no sitcom and the bitter black men are for real and everywhere.
They write blog posts offering women “advice” about how evil and emasculating we are to men. They have even created YouTube channels, probably from their mother’s basement, as some sort of support system for the rest of these BBM to expunge about how they have suffered greatly from the hands of oppression by women, which is why they can’t get a date. And when they are not writing blog posts or creating YouTube videos, you can find them in the comment section of blogs steered to black women, often times leaving rambling comments about why we all deserve to burn in hell.
And it is not just online, we see this BBM in real life too: They are usually the dudes, hollering at you from the passenger side of their man’s jeep. You try to pay him no mind, after all you’re only trying to move uninterrupted from point A to point B and don’t have time to chitchat. But he keeps yelling things at you like “Hey Girl” or “Where you going? Can I come with you?” and my favorite: “Psst!” Like, what am I a cat? Anyway, when you don’t give him the response that he feels like he deserves, he yells, “Well f- you then b***h!” Of course, most BBM do a far better job of masking their bitterness with faux bravado, but at the end of the day, it eventually comes out. And yes we see it: you are just bitter.
The long herald meme is that women, particularly black women, are the only species on earth who are capable of being bitter. It is because we are lonely, single and too damn successful and independent for our own good. Because of this, we are more likely to want to break men by speaking to them harshly, rolling our eyes, treating them like a failure and speaking about them negatively in front of our shared children. Basically, black women can’t hear the truth about ourselves that we are collectively ballbusters, who act as if we don’t need a man.
But let’s not act like men DON’T have a hard time hearing the truth as well. For instance, some of you aren’t the great catches you think you are either. Even with the MBAs, the tailored suits, and the good jobs with great benefits, the truth is that some of you have emotional issues and are in desperate need of some healing. In fact, your demonstrative contempt, and disrespect for black women is often times what keeps YOU single. And if black women, who harbor bitterness, are bag ladies than some of these embittered men are straight up what I like to call, a junkman. You hoard all of your junk on your front lawns until your neighbors get sick of it and call the city’s health department on your hyper-emotional a**.
The ironic thing about many of these anti-black woman memes making there way around social networking sites and the Internet in general is that the cause of your contempt is your inability to accept rejection. Maybe it was just one incident or maybe it was several, but obviously your egos were so crushed by this woman telling you “You’re not right for me” in some form or fashion that it has tainted you to the point of being emotionally abusive to women, who may not deserve it.
So yeah, bitter black dudes, whatever mommy, ex-wife or baby mom issue you’re having right now, don’t blame it all on the entire black female populous. Listen, many women understand your pain (sort of), but please know that life out here ain’t a crystal staircase for any of us. Everybody has there up and down moments in relationships and partner hunting. And as much as you all think bitterness isn’t attractive on us, it certainly doesn’t inspire wet panties on us lady folks neither.
And ladies, stop humoring and feeling sorry for these dudes. Instead, start calling them out: you are bitter, angry and need therapy. Tell him that perhaps the issue isn’t black women; maybe it’s the women you are chasing. Maybe it’s your inflated ego that has erroneously led you to believe that you were entitled to have any woman you want. Or maybe, it’s because your breath stinks. Whatever the reason I, nor my sisters, will be your punching bag anymore. As far as I’m concerned, all these bitter black men, along with these bitter black women, with their moronic moralistic gender oppressing views, can charter a one-way flight to an island where they can have a Battle Royale fight until the death. Because the rest of us – both emotionally stable men and women – are tired of your shenanigans. We are too busy trying to mate, to make friends and even just get laid without having to listen or read your constant whining about why you can’t do any of the above.
Bitter black dude responses in 4…3…2…
More on Madame Noire!
