By Taylor Lea Thomas
Question:
We are getting married on 12/12/12 at the courthouse. I am thinking of taking pics and sending photos with a message saying we got married. Should we still register for gifts?
Answer:
Dear Bride-to-be,
Love the 12/12/12 wedding date! It’s a very popular wedding date, and a great one at that. Now, on to your question…
Getting married privately in a courthouse setting without the big hoopla of a traditional wedding is one thing. Sending photographs along with a note announcing your marriage to friends and family is another thing. But requesting gifts, which is essentially what you’re suggesting, is looked at as bad wedding etiquette.
Traditionally, a gift registry is intended to aid wedding guests in purchasing a gift that the couple has taken the time to select to ensure that the items received are the items they would want to have and can be brought to the ceremony. In essence, the gift registry is simply a suggestive tool. However, by using the gift registry after the fact, it appears as if you’re asking for gifts. That’s a big no no in terms of proper wedding etiquette. I would, therefore, advise against registering for gifts since there will be no guests attending your courthouse wedding. If, however, those receiving your wedding announcements decide to purchase a wedding gift for you, then that’s fine, but asking for gifts by registering is, again, not the best idea.
Alternative:
Perhaps you can have a small gathering at your home, friend or family’s home, at your church, etc. whereby guests come to celebrate your married life together. In this case, guests can bring a gift if they so desire. Again, do not request gifts! That’s just as bad as requesting cash. You may, however, offer suggestions to those who ask if you’d prefer something specifically. In the end, be a gracious bride and those genuinely interested won’t need a gift registry announcement to buy you a wedding present.
Best wishes.
Source: becomingthemrs.com
Question:
How soon in advance should you plan?
Taylor’s Answer:
Dear Miss Calendar Conscious:
To allow yourself plenty of planning time, I suggest a solid year from proposal to party. In those 12 months, you’ll need to:
* Scout and book a venue;
* Decide on a dress for yourself and your attendants as well as coordinate the menswear;
* Print and mail invitations;
* Deal with the dreaded guest list and seating charts;
* Determine your budget and how funds should be allocated;
* Hire vendors for everything from the food to the flowers;
* Organize the menu and order a cake, not to mention all the tastings you’ll need to make appointments for;
* Arrange for transportation and accommodations;
* Choose the music;
* Plan the honeymoon;
* and on, and on, and on.
In planning a wedding, there are so many more details you’d never anticipate. Of course, you’ll also want the chance to change your mind about this or that, which will mean starting over from scratch. Make sure time is on your side.
Your day-to-day life will play a part in the wedding planning process as well. Planning a wedding requires a lot of organization and time. It can become quite stressful with all the details to consider. And if you have other obligations such as work, family, or school, you can see how having plenty of time will only serve to benefit you.
To draft a realistic game plan, have a frank discussion with your fiancé and determine what you both want and how much you both can afford. Many couples end up spending more than twice their initial estimate. Be realistic about what you can afford, and only plan your wedding based around that number. If you’re on a restricted budget, lower your guest list. It may be difficult, but do not get into debt planning a wedding for more guests than you can realistically afford to entertain, which is essentially what you’re doing when you plan a wedding reception.
You are about to embark on one of the most exciting milestones in your life – planning your wedding. Soak in your engagement. Enjoy it. Start getting organized from the very beginning, but most of all, be sure to take your time with things too.
Happy planning!
Taylor Lea Thomas is an award-winning celebrity luxury wedding planner, and CEO of Elite Soirée, Inc. – the #1 luxury wedding planning company in the world devoted to the art of creating luxury weddings with an emphasis on style! For more information, visit elitesoiree.com. Follow Taylor on Twitter for more tips and advice as you navigate this wonderful milestone in your life of planning your wedding: @taylorleathomas
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