Helping Aging Parents Without Taking Away Their Independence

If you have aging parents, making choices that affect their independence can be tough. Aging parent guidance that still supports an active, fulfilling lifestyle includes involving them in decision-making, bringing in part-time help, going with them to appointments, and more. 

According to Choice Mutual, the vast majority of seniors, over 90%, would prefer to live at home. However, this is causing major issues for children and other younger folks when their older loved ones begin to struggle with independent lifestyles. 

What Age Is Considered an Aging Parent? 

Mywellbeing reports that an “aging” individual ranges from 65 to 85 years or older. However, many seniors do not consider themselves to be aging if they still maintain active lifestyles and enjoy relative independence. 

What Is the Most Difficult Thing for Elderly People to Deal With?

Losing independence is one of the most difficult aspects of aging for seniors. After working for decades and retiring, it can be frustrating to struggle with basic skills that used to come easily. 

A house that was once navigable turns into a minefield of obstacles. Climbing stairs might be challenging or downright impossible due to mobility problems. Bathrooms and hallways may not be equipped with accessibility aids, like grab bars. 

An older individual may need to make a tough choice between staying in the home that they love and acknowledging that they cannot exist without help due to developing problems that may only worsen as the years go by. 

How Can You Help Your Parent With Elderly Independence Support? 

If your parent is showing signs that they struggle with independence, it is crucial to acknowledge their shortcomings without taking away their sense of autonomy. Here are some steps that you can take once your loved one shows signs that they need extra support. 

Ask Before Taking Action 

Always ask your loved one before taking steps on their behalf if they are cognitively capable. Remember, it is their life, and they should be involved in decision-making. 

Imagine if someone unilaterally decided to change where you live or had a strange caregiver appear at your home without your consent. If your loved one is stubborn, try to work with them for a reasonable compromise. 

Consider Independent Senior Living

Independent senior living, such as Saint John’s Independent Living Plus, is a great middle ground between a senior living by themselves and moving into assisted living. Independent senior living allows them to maintain their lifestyle and downsize. Many independent living communities offer activities and amenities exclusively designed for seniors. 

Bring in Part-Time Help

Ease your loved one into caregiving by starting with part-time help. Find an independent caregiver in your area or work with an agency. An additional person at their home for a few hours a week can help them accomplish basic chores and provide companionship. 

Attend Appointments and Consultations 

Go with your loved one to their doctor appointments and other types of consultations. You can ask questions and understand their specific medications and health requirements. 

Ask your loved one if you can pick up their medications or take phone calls from doctors on their behalf. They will not have to worry about forgetting a prescription or missing a virtual appointment, and you can be fully informed about their existing health conditions. 

Ensure Their Living Space Is Safe

Your elderly parent may insist on staying in their home, and if so, you need to make necessary upgrades and modifications to keep them secure. Consider moving them entirely downstairs if the house has multiple floors, so they will not have to navigate the stairs. 

Position grab bars in areas that have long stretches of walking, such as hallways. Shower mats and other accommodations in bathrooms keep seniors from slipping and falling. 

A security system is a good idea as well. Alarms can prevent break-ins, and in-home cameras may be able to alert you if something happens so you can assist immediately. 

Frequently Asked Questions 

Can Family Members Be Held Liable for Allowing an Elderly Parent to Live Alone?

It depends. If the family member is the designated caregiver, then they may be liable for any neglect that occurs while an elderly individual is left alone in their home. 

In general, family members are not held liable if a senior insists on living in their home. It is important to understand that if an elderly person is mentally incapacitated or cannot make their own decisions, it is often up to the child to step in. Refusing to take responsibility for an ailing parent who is unable to live alone may cause legal issues. 

When Is It Time to Consider Assisted Living or Memory Care? 

Assisted living is for seniors who can operate relatively independently, but still need some help with everyday tasks. If your loved one has trouble with chores such as getting dressed or bathing, then assisted living might be a better fit for them. 

For those who struggle with cognitive decline from dementia or other conditions, memory care is an option as symptoms progress. Seniors are placed in a secure environment with dedicated staff members and enriching activities. Their lifestyles revolve around accommodating their needs, while also maintaining cognitive function as much as possible. 

Why Do Some Siblings Not Help With Elderly Parents? 

It may not be possible for them to afford to help. Caring for elderly parents can be especially challenging for those in the “sandwich generation,” who are assisting with parental care while also navigating parenthood. Working full-time makes it difficult or even impossible to dedicate the time and resources to parents. 

If your siblings do not express a desire to care for elderly parents, figure out why. See if there are other ways that they can help to ease the burden on the primary caregiver. 

Learn More About Maintaining Elder Dignity for Aging Parents

If you have aging parents, finding the right balance between ensuring their safety and letting them keep their independence can be challenging. Use this guide when making decisions about their care so that everyone is satisfied with the arrangement. 

Would you like more insight into family relationships? Take a look around our website for ideas and inspiration that you can use with the seniors in your life.