Last week, we were awarded the distinct (read: farty, stinky, stupid) pleasure of discovering that one in five people in relationships are in love with someone else. We were disgusted, appalled, defiant, and teary-eyed over this news at the Madame Noire offices. We asked ourselves: how could a man look a woman in the face and pretend to love her when he’s really still pining over someone else? How could a woman look her man in the face and be secretly in love with Makulaka from the fourth grade?
“Just get over your ex!” we yelled. “Move on, you shameful people,” we judged…and judged the filthy people, until suddenly, we turned the plaid-embroidered Gucci mirror on ourselves and asked if we were still in love with someone from our pasts. Maybe we were. Maybe we weren’t. Either way, we decided to champion a “move on” movement. And now, the Madame Noire MOVE ON movement has been born! It’s time to MOVE ON from love lost (especially if the love was never good for you anyway)!
In the ‘Comments’ section, write two sentences of closure to any love you’ve lost.
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Dear C.R.
I ended our relationship because you were broke as hell & your comedy job sucked. Now, I’m letting go of the past, because we’ve grown up, and you’ve blown up & I guess now the joke’s on me.
Love, June
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Read some more MOVE ON letters ->>
Dear Former Boss from Carpenter Park:
I miss working at the old branch, because you taught me everything I know about hand measurements. However, computers can handle all that stuff now, so I’m letting you go. Goodbye.
Sincerely, F. Littelmann
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Dear Cowardly Jerk,
I’ve paid for you with years of my life, and I’m not going to let you cost me anymore. You wouldn’t know gold if it hit you in the face, you morally cheap *******. Goodbye!
Maybel You-Know-Who-This-Is Jenkins!
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Ty (1982),
We hurt each other so much over some dramatic instigations over your cousin, and we didn’t even have to. I still miss you, but you have issues and I have issues and I gotta let you go for the both of us.
Bye, James
Write your own comments of closure (MOVE ON letters) below!
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