4 Common Myths About Sex After Menopause

Sex and relationship expert Gemma Nice and YSOS—the leading website for couples who love to swing—have teamed up to bust a few myths about sex after menopause. While it’s true that many women between the ages of 50 and 60 experience physical changes—such as decreased libido and vaginal dryness—that can affect their sex lives, new research suggests that Gen X women aren’t letting these symptoms slow them down. 

According to a recent study by YSOS, this generation is embracing intimacy with more curiosity and confidence than ever. Nearly 40% of participants said they were open to exploring role-play in the bedroom after menopause, and almost 1 in 10 expressed interest in trying swinging.

Data from Hopkins Medicine shows that more than a third of women going through perimenopause or menopause report sexual difficulties, including low desire and challenges with orgasm. However, Nice stresses that these changes don’t mean the end of a satisfying sex life. In fact, many women in their 50s and 60s are rewriting the narrative around midlife sexuality. As sex educator Nice puts it, there are far too many misconceptions about intimacy during menopause. Women can and do enjoy fulfilling sex lives well into midlife and beyond.

Here are the four most common myths about sex after menopause and tips on how to enjoy intercourse during this stage of life. 

1. “The clitoris loses nerve endings.” – FALSE.

Clitoral atrophy, while less common than vaginal atrophy, can occur after menopause, causing the clitoris to stop responding to sexual arousal. According to Healthline, this can develop due to hormonal changes or loss of blood flow to the clitoris, but Nice clarified that women never lose nerve ending function in the area.

“No, it doesn’t lose nerve endings – but reduced oestrogen does lower blood flow, which can make the clitoris less responsive,” the sex expert said in a press release. 

Nice shared that foreplay is the biggest weapon post-menopausal women can use in the bedroom to stimulate their clitoris for better arousal and great orgasms.

“With time, patience and care, your orgasmic potential is still very much alive. I get my clients to reconnect with their bodies – look at their vulva, touch, explore and notice what feels good now.”

She added, “It might take some time to orgasm compared to when it did in your 20s or 30s. This will mean being patient with yourself and allowing yourself time to build. For couples, I recommend guiding your partner’s hands around your body, so your partner knows where they like to be touched or engage in mutual masturbation.”

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2. “Sex will hurt after menopause.” – NOT NECESSARILY.

While vaginal dryness is a common symptom of menopause, it doesn’t have to be “a life sentence” for older women, says Nice. 

“Yes, vaginal dryness is common, but it’s not a life sentence. A good quality lube is essential. I encourage women to try a few and find what works best for their body. Every vagina and penis is different – it’s about finding the right fit for both of you.”

If you’re in a relationship, extra foreplay may help to get the vagina wet and fend off dryness. Nice also suggested using “copious amounts of lube.” 

3. “You need to take hormone replacement therapy (HRT).” – NOT ALWAYS.

Per The Menopause Society, hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is a common prescription treatment for relieving uncomfortable menopause symptoms, but relationship expert Nice recommends considering holistic alternatives before heading straight to the doctor’s office. 

One such approach is breathwork, a breathing technique that, according to Nice, can help ease post-menopausal disruptions naturally.

“Breathwork practice brings you right into the moment and allows your sexual energy in your pelvis to be released. Look into each other’s eyes and just breathe, and you will find you naturally start to synchronize your breath. You will find it will do this naturally. The aim for this is to just breathe with each other, allowing the connection to be felt and helping you relax your body. Allowing the connection, intimacy, and trust to come through.”

Meditation and eating a well-balanced diet may also help to fend off disruptive hormonal changes, Nice added. 

4. “You won’t want to try anything new.” – DEFINITELY A MYTH.

Judging by the data uncovered from YSOS’ latest study, post-menopausal women are eager for more adventure in their sex lives, and according to Nice, “Midlife is the perfect time to spice things up.” After menopause, you can brighten up your sex life by adding in a little excitement to your normal routine, such as sexting, role play, or even a change of scenery. 

“Switch it up where you like to be intimate and have sex. Maybe in the kitchen on the side, or on the sofa, or even in the shower,” Nice said. “Be more adventurous and allow the feelings to come. If you have found that your libido has dropped, start sending flirty texts to each other. Kind of like sexting, even if you work from home. Try role play and get a little kinky. Remember your body is your own; just be open to trying new things.”

She added, “You may be looking to explore different sexual experiences, such as swinging or kinks, to feel more empowered. Even if you have been with your partner for a long period or haven’t experienced sex in some time, changes in your body can give you a new take on your sex life, opening it up to a whole world of sexual possibilities. Whatever your desires are, talk it out, communicate it with your partner and be open.”

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