6 Toxic Communication Habits You Need To Break Today
Toxic communication habits can be tough to unlearn, especially when we don’t even realize we’re using them. The truth is, most of us were never taught how to communicate effectively. Raele Altano, a communication coach, told Time in 2024, that our earliest examples usually come from parents, family members, or community leaders during our upbringing, people who may not have always modeled the healthiest communication styles.
“We copy what our parents do, and then what our teachers and friends do,” Altano explained. “We assume that’s the standard—it definitely comes from our upbringing.”
People can show poor communication habits in a variety of ways, like constantly interrupting, dominating the conversation, or going off on long tangents that leave little space for others to speak. The good news? These habits can be unlearned once we know what to look for.
Swipe for six common toxic communication patterns, and how to break them.
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Making The Conversation All About You
It’s natural to want to relate to others by sharing your own experiences, but constantly turning the spotlight back on yourself can come off as self-centered, says Altano.
“Constantly bringing up your experience when someone is talking, and saying, ‘Oh, yeah, that happened to me, too’ is deflating to the other person,” he explained.
To change this, practice active listening. Instead of jumping in with your own story, try paraphrasing what the other person said or asking thoughtful follow-up questions. Remember, you don’t have to match every anecdote with one of your own. Sometimes, just being present is enough.
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2. Frequent Interrupting.
Interrupting isn’t always intentional. It can stem from eagerness, anxiety, or a desire to be heard. But it often leaves others feeling unheard or dismissed. Anne Willkomm, an associate teaching professor in the department of communication at Drexel University, told Time that it’s important for people to get curious about why you interrupt. Then, commit to pausing and letting others finish their thoughts.
If you slip up, a quick apology—like “Sorry, please continue”—can go a long way. And remember, not every great idea needs to be shared immediately; follow-ups via email or later in the conversation work too.
3. Rambling Without Pause
Turning conversations into long-winded monologues might feel like good storytelling, but it often exhausts listeners. Be mindful of your airtime. Aim to express your thoughts clearly and concisely.
In professional settings, ask directly: “What do you need from me?” or “What’s the bottom line here?” And in social settings, check in: “Am I going on too long?” A little self-awareness can make space for more balanced dialogue.
4. Distracted “Listening“
Whether it’s checking your phone mid-chat or mentally drafting tomorrow’s to-do list, distracted listening sends a clear message: “You’re not important right now.” It might not be intentional, but when you do this, it can come off as rude or possibly “infuriating” to the person who is trying to speak, Drexel University notes.
Commit to being fully present. Put the phone down, close the laptop, and give the speaker your full attention. If you notice someone else is distracted, a gentle nudge—either with humor or honesty—can help bring them back to the moment.
5. Avoiding Eye Contact
Lack of eye contact can come across as disinterest, insecurity, or even dishonesty. It creates distance instead of connection. Make a conscious effort to hold natural, comfortable eye contact during conversations. It signals respect, builds trust, and shows you’re engaged, even if you’re nervous or unsure.
6. Gossiping
Gossip might feel like harmless small talk, but it can erode trust and damage relationships, especially in the workplace. Steer conversations away from negativity. If others start gossiping, either change the subject or excuse yourself. And when in doubt, stick to safe, shared interests—sports, pop culture, or weekend plans—anything that doesn’t throw someone under the bus.
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