Thinking Of Flirting At The Gym? Here’s What To Do — And What Not To Do

On paper, the gym might seem like a prime spot to strike up a conversation—after all, it’s full of fit, sweaty, and attractive people working on themselves. But in reality, approaching someone mid-workout is often a fast track to awkwardness.

Not only can it make the other person feel uncomfortable, but it also crosses boundaries in a space where people are usually focused on their personal goals. If your approach comes off as too pushy or inappropriate, it could lead to complaints—or even get you kicked out.

So, it’s probably best to admire from afar and save the flirting for a more appropriate setting, says Kristal DeSantis, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Austin.

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“A gym is not like a club or café,” DeSantis told SELF during an interview published April 2. The relationship expert pointed out that the gym is a sacred space for many—a place to unwind after a long day or stay laser-focused on personal health and strength goals. Interrupting that with an awkward pickup attempt, especially mid-set, can totally kill the vibe for someone who sees the gym as their safe haven—an escape from daily stressors, including the unwanted attention they might face elsewhere.

Plus, it’s worth remembering that people can feel more exposed in this environment. Whether it’s wearing form-fitting clothes, skipping makeup, or being drenched in sweat, the gym isn’t exactly when most people want to land on someone’s romantic radar.

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No creepy staring or awkward compliments.

Now, if you just can’t wait to talk to that hot gym crush, there are a few things you should keep in mind before approaching them. First, never engage in creepy staring or hover around their workout station hoping to chat or “compliment” them, La Keita Carter, a psychologist and owner of HEALing in Owing Mills, Maryland, shared with SELF.

If you do decide to compliment them, avoid making remarks about their bodies. It’s a huge turn-off and can make them feel uncomfortable.

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Wait for the right moment.

Timing matters, too, according to Dr. Carter. It’s best to wait until someone has finished their workout—maybe they’re heading for the exit after a solid session or pausing at the water fountain. These moments tend to feel more relaxed and casual, making it less awkward to spark a conversation.

When you do make your move, keep it light and brief. Skip the cheesy pickup lines and let things flow naturally. Instead of saying something like, “Hey, I’ve been checking you out,” Dr. Carter recommends starting with a friendly, gym-related icebreaker. A simple comment about their workout or class can go a long way in making a good impression without coming off too strong.

“I think I’ve seen you in this class before. Do you like this instructor?” is a great way to spark up the conversation with your crush. “I noticed you’re a really fast runner. How do you keep that pace?” is another great way to see if your crush is interested in developing a relationship outside of the gym.

Remember to keep it cool, and don’t stress if nothing comes of it. Just let things unfold naturally—no pressure.

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