5 Dating Mistakes That Could Be Blocking Your Happy Ending

If dating feels like a demanding full-time job, you’re not alone. A 2020 Pew Research study revealed that nearly half of U.S. adults feel dating has become more challenging over the past decade. Fortunately, Dr. Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., a relationship expert at DatingAdvice.com, offers simple and effective strategies to help us secure a first or second date, making the dating process a little less overwhelming.

Young Couple Doing Cheers With Drinks Enjoying Meal On Date In City Restaurant Together — Source: monkeybusinessimages

During an interview with the New York Post published on March 17, Dr. Orbuch warned that sharing too much about your personal life on the first date could overwhelm the person who is trying to get to know you. While you might feel comfortable discussing sensitive topics like family matters or that one cousin you can’t stand, doing so could make your date feel like they already know too much about you, leaving little room for curiosity and further connection.

“When first meeting your date, it’s key not to overwhelm them with your childhood trauma or who your favorite middle school teacher was,” Orbuch said. “Many daters make the mistake of sharing too much about themselves too soon. On a first date, you want to leave them interested and wanting more.”

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2. Don’t worry if there isn’t much chemistry.

Cafe, man and ignore woman with phone for internet addiction, attention and annoyed with bad date. Interracial people, coffee shop and jealous partner for cheating, toxic relationship or overthinking — Source: LumiNola

When meeting your date for the first time, try to stay relaxed. It’s perfectly fine if the chemistry isn’t instant. Dr. Orbuch explained that this is completely normal. Unless there are clear red flags or deal breakers, she encourages people to remain open to a second meet-up, even if there wasn’t an immediate spark.

“Chemistry and attraction can grow over time as you get to know someone,” the relationship expert said.

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3. Don’t bring up past relationships.

Young couple smiling and talking at the botanical garden — Source: bernardbodo

One common mistake people make on first dates is bringing up past relationships in a negative light. Your date doesn’t need to hear about your cheating ex or that partner who forgot your birthday. Maintaining a positive tone is crucial. While it’s natural for past relationships to come up, Dr. Orbuch suggests keeping the conversation brief and neutral, avoiding complaints about how terrible your ex was.

“On first dates, people are attracted to daters who are positive, optimistic, and hopeful,” Dr. Orbuch told the New York Post. “You don’t want to share why previous relationships didn’t work and what isn’t going well right now in your life.”

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4. Don’t talk too much about yourself.

Couple Enjoying Break on Steps in City — Source: supersizer

The final mistake to avoid is talking too much about yourself. Remember, this is a two-way conversation. Take the time to learn about your date by asking questions and showing interest in their life.

“You want to gather information about the other person…,” Dr. Orbuch added.

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5. Have fun.

Young couple in a park in summer sunset — Source: ArtMarie

Lastly, remember to have fun. The romance expert highlighted that the key to a great date is enjoying the experience, regardless of whether it leads to a second date. Dating is meant to be enjoyable, and it’s perfectly okay no matter the outcome.

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