So You’ve Been Invited To A Sex Party—Now What?
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Over the past decade, sex parties have shifted from being a taboo activity to a more mainstream event, with millennials and Gen Z partygoers leading the charge, according to Metro UK. With that being said, if you belong to these age groups, you may find yourself unexpectedly invited to a sex party. While the invitation can be surprising, and sometimes even overwhelming, it’s important to approach the situation with thoughtfulness and respect for both yourself and willing participants. Whether you’re curious, hesitant, or unsure, the experience can be exciting, confusing, or intimidating, depending on your perspective.
Regardless of your feelings, it’s essential to prioritize your personal boundaries, communication, and safety. If you’re on the fence about attending a sex party, here are a few helpful tips to help you navigate this unique situation with confidence and awareness.
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Reflect on your boundaries and comfort levels.
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Before deciding how to respond, take some time to think about your personal boundaries and comfort levels. A sex party may involve explicit activities, so it’s essential to ask yourself a few questions. Are you comfortable with the idea of being in a sexual environment with multiple people? What activities are you open to, and which ones are off-limits?
Remember, there is no obligation to participate if you do attend an event, and it’s okay to decline if you’re not sure or feel uneasy.
In an article for The Atlantic published Feb. 4, writer Xochitl Gonzalez said that if you feel uncomfortable being intimate with attendees “you can listen to music” or “observe” what partygoers are doing. “But no one will consider it rude should you leave without having sex,” Gonzalez added.
If you are interested in participating, consent and self-respect should always come first. Always ask for permission before touching someone, and expect the same respect in return.
Consider the type of event.
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Not all sex parties are the same. Some may be focused on casual hookups while others may center on connection, communication, and mutual respect. If you’re unfamiliar with the specific event you’re invited to, it’s a good idea to ask the host for details. Inquire about the atmosphere before attending. Is it more of a relaxed social gathering or a more intense, sexually-charged environment? Are there rules and are you comfortable being in a large event or would a small party suit you better? Understanding what you’re walking into can help you make an informed decision about whether it’s the right environment for you.
Killing Kittens, for example, is one of the most well-established names in the sex party scene, Metro UK noted. Founded in 2005 by Emma Sayle, the New York and London-based parties began as intimate gatherings that prioritized the pleasure of the female attendees, known as “kittens.” The party provides a space for sexually liberated women from all walks of life to connect.
In recent years, the brand’s popularity has surged, with Killing Kittens’ Senior Events and Education Manager, Kamila Rybankiewicz, reporting a 400% increase in party attendance over the past two years.
“We’re definitely getting a lot more younger people coming to our parties,” Rybankiewicz told Metro UK. “We’ve gone to our biggest events having 200 attendees in 2019, and now we’re easily having 800 guests at parties. Everyone wants to explore to some extent. Whether it’s just going and dancing in their lingerie in front of other people or full sex or a group experience, people realize they need to do it in a safe environment.”
Know the safety and health considerations.
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With STIs being on the rise, sexual health and safety should always be a priority. If you decide to accept the invitation and attend, ensure you take steps to protect yourself and others. Bring and use protection (condoms, dental dams, etc.) to prevent sexually transmitted infections (STIs). If the event involves alcohol or drugs, be mindful of how substances can affect your ability to make informed decisions and give consent.
More importantly, know your limits and stay aware of your personal safety, both physically and emotionally. Having these precautions in place will not only protect your health but also contribute to a more respectful and safe environment for everyone involved.
Trust your instincts.
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Ultimately, trust your instincts. If you feel uncomfortable, confused, or unsure, it’s okay to decline the invitation. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your decision. Your comfort and mental well-being are far more important than any social pressure or curiosity. If you decide not to attend, it might be helpful to let the host know that you’re grateful for the invitation but have decided it’s not the right fit for you at this time. Being respectful and clear about your choice will maintain healthy relationships and leave the door open for future interactions, without any awkwardness.
If you do decide to attend a sex party, take time afterward to reflect on your experience. How did you feel about your interactions, your boundaries, and your level of comfort? What did you learn about yourself in the process? Regardless of whether the event met your expectations, reflection is an important step in personal growth and understanding your values and desires.
Being invited to a sex party can be an exciting, confusing, or intimidating experience, depending on your perspective. No matter what, it’s crucial to prioritize your personal boundaries, communication, and safety. If you choose to attend, make sure to approach the event with respect for yourself and others, and always be clear about your limits and expectations.
Ultimately, your decision is yours alone, and there is no right or wrong answer. The key is to make a choice that aligns with your values, comfort, and well-being.
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