What Is Temperature Sex Play?

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Are you looking for a new way to spice up your sex life in the bedroom? Consider temperature play, the act of placing a hot or cold object on your partner’s sensitive areas to create a tantalizing experience during intimacy.

According to SELF, this sensual interaction can wake up the nerve endings in your erogenous zones and intensify and stimulate your body in exciting ways. For example, a cold object, like a piece of ice or a chilled sex toy, may give you “a jot of the chills” creating a sensual rush when placed on sensitive areas like the nipple or genitals. On the other hand, some people may find a relaxing sensation when a hot object, such as a warm towel or spoon, is placed on their body, mimicking the soothing feel of a hot bath.

Here are a few ways to introduce heat into your sex life.

You don’t need any special tools to introduce temperature play— first start off by experimenting with hot objects. If you don’t have a sex toy or household object lying around that you can warm up, start by incorporating just your breath. By exhaling gently over your partner’s skin, you can create a rush of warmth, offering them a spark to their senses.

Lexx Brown-James EdD, LMFT, the director of the Sexual Health Certificate Program at the University of Michigan’s School of Social Work, told SELF, that you should focus on sensitive areas like the inner thigh, neck, and genitals for a more intense effect during temperature play. 

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If breath play isn’t your forte, warm oil or hot candle wax can be a steamy way to introduce warmth into the bedroom. The heat from the warm oil can soothe your partner during intimacy, helping them to relax their muscles and body, while hot candle wax may create a “steamy” and “wet” sensation along your partner’s body, intensifying their arousal. 

However, it’s important to be careful when engaging in both steamy techniques as you may run the risk of burning your partner, but finding the right temperature can unlock a new level of pleasure for you and your loved one.

“There’s a threshold where, if something hurts a little bit, then pleasurable endorphins can also get released,” Dr. Jennifer Gunsaullus, a sociologist, told SELF. 

Pro tip: Use a massage candle, as it heats up to just a few degrees above body temperature, making it safe and comfortable for the skin. If your partner is sensitive to heat, you can also choose a lukewarm object or sex toy for a gentler experience.

Here’s how to introduce cold objects into the bedroom.

For those who enjoy a bit of a chill, you can kick things off by making use of the ice cubes sitting in your fridge. Run a small piece of the ice down your partner’s body, allowing it to melt, for an icy, thrilling sensation. Dr. Brown-James said that the nipples are a great place to start with ice because they tend to be sensitive. To light things up a bit further, Dr. Gunsaullus said that you can place the ice into your mouth and lick or kiss areas of your partner’s body as you “breathe out a puff of cool air” along their sensual areas. 

Cooling down a sex toy is just as easy as warming one up. Simply refrigerate a glass or stainless steel toy to enjoy a thrilling cold sensation during play. The same concept applies to household items made of metal or glass—like a spoon—which can easily be chilled to add variety to your sexual experience. 

Temperature play can be an exciting way to reignite and refresh the sexual energy between you and your partner in the bedroom. Would you try it?

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