7 Red Flags On Online Dating Profiles
Girl, Don’t Date Him: 7 Red Flags To Look Out For On Online Dating Profiles
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The end of the year often brings resolutions in our personal and professional lives. For single women, the “new year, new me” mindset can inspire us to seek out new relationships and experiences. Whether you’re looking for a short-term fling or a long-term partner, online dating offers a space to expand your relationship prospects. According to the Pew Research Center, one-in-ten partnered adults met their current significant other through a dating app. For those under thirty, the number jumps to one-in-five.
While online dating has many benefits, it also comes with its share of risks. More options mean a greater chance of becoming entangled with someone unavailable, unhealthy, or downright toxic. It’s important to stay alert for red flags that signal it’s time to swipe left.
Here are seven things to watch out for when scanning a potential match’s dating profile.
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1. Using Overly Generic Or Cliché Phrases
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Take heed if their profile reads like a list of dating app buzzwords, e.g. “I love to laugh” or “I’m just looking for my best friend.” This shows that the person isn’t focused on the power behind their words. At the very least, it demonstrates a rushed approach to creating their profile and a lack of seriousness in meeting someone.
If you’re only looking for a hookup, that’s one thing, but if you want a more substantive connection, look for profiles where it’s clear the person put effort into it.
Of course, I get that some folks might be irresistible even without creativity in their “About Me” section. In that case, swipe right, but make sure they put effort into their messages. Starting with “Hey beautiful!” (or something similarly corny) signals that the person is likely more interested in the volume of responses than the quality of a connection.
2. Too Many Group Pics
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I once saw an online dating profile where a man appeared in multiple group photos but wasn’t the person in the center. That is, until you got to the last pic, where he was solo and I realized he had been using his younger, more athletically inclined photo mates as bait to get you to look at his profile.
If someone has very few pictures, or their profile only features group shots (where it’s hard to tell which one they are), it might signal they’re hiding something.
If they don’t have clear, individual photos or consistently avoid showing their face, they might already be partnered, still trying to relive their college years, or lack confidence in their appearance. A genuine person will want to share who they are and will have photos that reflect their personality and lifestyle. Swipe left.
3. Negative Or Bitter Language
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“I don’t do drama.” If there’s one sentence that reveals a person is a drama king or queen, ironically, it’s often the insistence to declare that they don’t want something. It’s natural to not want to get hurt or sucked into a bad relationship, but you can’t filter that out with a statement.
I get it. Bad experiences can make us skittish about meeting someone new. However, pay special attention to how a person describes their past. Complaining about frustrations with dating hints at unresolved emotional baggage.
If you live long enough, you’ll be disappointed, but successful dating and relationships are built when a person focuses on the opportunity in front of them rather than the challenges of their past.
A person who hasn’t healed from past hurt will bring that heartache and resentment into their interactions with you.
4. Alpha Code
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If you’ve been on the dating app streets for long enough, you’re likely to encounter a man who asserts up front that they are an “alpha.” What could be wrong with a man being clear about the role he is willing to play in a relationship? I mean, clarity is good, right?
Alpha is a term associated with dominance and control. Alpha males, with their cocksure swagger and unapologetic projection of traditional gender norms (aka “strong man, the provider”), can be alluring to anyone seeking security through a partner.
The truth is that oftentimes men who say they’re alpha also believe in power hierarchies in relationships where he is on top and his partner is expected to defer to his leadership. This power imbalance will likely emerge as self-centeredness with the partner expected to cater to his needs. This need to be the boss comes from a space of fear.
Alpha men are scared men. They are men who are intimidated by the idea of a partner having the ability to assert her needs in a relationship. The alpha male mindset is one with profound entitlement. What he’s saying is, “Because I am a man, it is natural that I should hold the majority of power in the relationship. Any power you have is to be negotiated.”
Unless you want to be in an intimate relationship with someone who’s your de facto boss, don’t just swipe left. BLOCK.
5. Overemphasis On Physical Appearance Or Body Shaming
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Beware of someone who only focuses on looks or tries to fit you into a specific “type.” If their online dating profile is filled with comments about body types, weight, or superficial beauty standards, it may indicate they view you as an object rather than a person.
Authentic connections are about emotional and intellectual compatibility, not just physical attraction. If someone expresses a hyper-fixation on appearance, including their own, trust they will obsess over yours.
It’s important to care about your appearance, but anyone who spends too much time talking about what they desire in a potential partner’s looks is shallow, plain and simple. Why’s that? They don’t have to say anything. We have photos on our profiles that either appeal to them or not.
A person who announces their preferences or dislikes about appearance on their profile shows they lack tact and class.
6. Vague Or Non-Committal About Relationship Intentions
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“Figuring out my dating goals” seems like a good, honest response. When we don’t know what we want, it’s best to be upfront about it from the beginning.
There’s a popular saying: “If it isn’t a clear yes, it’s a clear no.” When someone is unclear or evasive about what they’re looking for—whether it’s casual dating or something more serious—take that as a sign they might not be ready for a committed relationship.
We can’t help someone figure out what they want; that’s an inside job that has nothing to do with the person they’re talking to. If you don’t know what you want and are open to something brief (and potentially chaotic), by all means, swipe right. Just understand that things probably won’t become clearer the more time you spend with them.
7. Sexist Language
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If their profile includes microaggressions, objectifying language, or casual fetishization (e.g., “I love Black women because they’re exotic”), that’s a major red flag, especially if they aren’t Black themselves.
You deserve to be seen as a full person, not a stereotype or a “type.” You’re not a novelty, but a whole human being.
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