'Listen To Black Women': From 'I Do' To 'I Choose' - Episode 4

Episode 4 of Listen To Black Women is here and hosts Lore’l, Danielle Young, Jessie Woo, Melyssa Ford, and Torrei Hart are back again for another honest and unfiltered discussion on marriage and motherhood.

Titled From “I Do” to “I Choose,” this episode picks up where Episode 3 left off, delving even deeper into the complexities of modern Black womanhood. In part two of this powerful conversation, the group opens up about the unique pressures Black millennial women face as they navigate careers, marriage, and motherhood, exploring both the challenges and the rewards of balancing it all in today’s society.

At the top of the episode, Lore’l opens up about her conflicting feelings on motherhood and marriage, admitting that she is unsure if she wants both.

“I’m confused about what I want. I do know that I do not want to have kids unless I’m married,” she told the group. “But when I sit and think about it, am I ready?” 

Lore’l shared that at one point in her life, she met someone special, and they began discussing the possibility of having children. However, her feelings of uncertainty started to surface when she realized the reality of spending every waking moment with her partner upon marriage.

“I don’t know if I could be with this mothaf***** for 65 more… I got to see his ass every day? 65 years?!” she joked.

For Melyssa Ford, finding love in the entertainment industry as a media personality, has been challenging, as many people in the field seem to suffer from “Peter Pan Syndrome”—a pop psychology term for adults who struggle with maturity and taking on adult responsibilities, according to Medical News Today. 

Offering some words of wisdom to Ford and Lore’l, Young reassured her co-hosts that they have the power and the right to “choose” the life that truly suits them—and to do so without any shame.

Source: iOne/iOneDigital

“I think the modern woman gets to choose… I think our mothers and grandmothers and them probably felt like they didn’t necessarily get that choice, and they went the way of marriage and all the things because that’s what it had to be,” Young shared. “But because we are so nontraditional as women, we don’t have to make that choice. It’s not dire anymore, sure, our uteruses have timelines, but even that, there’s a breath of fresh air in the ability to freeze eggs and the ability to adopt or to create families that are different and nontraditional.”

Woo agreed, adding that she’s “the last cousin” in her family without children. While she hopes to have kids one day, she made it clear that she’s not waiting for the perfect “prince charming” or marriage to make it happen.

“I’m going to have kids. Like, I’m going to have children. I don’t care if I got to go down to the clinic and say I want that one and that one,” she quipped. 

Torrei Hart is a prime example of what a nontraditional family can look like. The podcaster and actress married actor and comedian Kevin Hart in 2003, and they welcomed two children together before filing for divorce, which was finalized in 2011. Despite their highly public and controversial split, the former couple continues to co-parent their children and maintain an active, collaborative relationship for their family’s sake.

“I’m divorced, but I still spend holidays with my ex and his family and my children, and that’s still keeping the traditional family going in a different sense,” Hart said.

Watch Episode 4 of Listen To Black Women above.

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