After Trump’s Win, Some Black Women Are Swearing Off Sex

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Donald Trump’s reelection has left women across the United States fed up, dejected, and utterly exhausted. For many of us, the 2024 election wasn’t just a political defeat—it was a personal slap in the face. Once again, a majority of men cast their votes for a candidate who has been found liable for sexual abuse, appointed Supreme Court justices who gutted abortion rights, and built a legacy of misogyny. Women, especially Black women, are done playing the role of societal saviors, fixing problems we didn’t create.

We’re tired. And we’re opting out!

This rage and despair has reignited conversations around the 4B Movement, an unapologetically feminist stance born in South Korea. According to CNN, “4B” stands for four Korean words: bihon, bichulsan, biyeonae, and bisekseu, translating to no marriage, no childbirth, no dating, and no sex with men. The movement, which gained traction in 2016 after a brutal femicide near a Seoul subway station, grew from the frustration of living in a world full of inequality and violence against women. In South Korea, the gender pay gap is the highest among developed nations, and digital sex crimes and femicide are disturbingly prevalent. Women there said, “Enough.” (CNN) Now, women in the U.S. are echoing that cry.

The parallels between the two movements are striking and the 4B movement highlights a global reckoning: when systems fail women, women stop participating in them. Ashli Pollard, a 36-year-old woman from St. Louis, told CNN, “We have pandered and begged for men’s safety and done all the things that we were supposed to, and they still hate us. So if you’re going to hate us, then we’re going to do what we want.” Whether it’s marriage, childbearing, or even emotional labor, women are refusing to play by outdated rules. In South Korea, the birth rate has plummeted to one of the lowest in the world, a trend that experts say is tied to feminist rejections of patriarchy. Could the same happen in America? Black women, already skilled at thriving independently, may very well lead the way.

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This isn’t just about rejecting men—it’s about reclaiming autonomy in a society that consistently devalues women’s lives. The core of 4B is a radical act of self-preservation. By refusing to center men in our lives, women are focusing on ourselves, our joy, and our well-being.

Black women, especially, are stepping away from the “fixer” role society has thrust upon us for centuries. We’ve been the backbone of progressive movements, voting in record numbers, and organizing for justice, yet our needs are consistently sidelined. Well, we’re no longer available to save the world. We’re prioritizing ourselves—and unapologetically so.

Women in the U.S. are starting to explore how centering themselves—not men—can lead to fulfillment. Black women in particular have been faced with singlehood and autonomy for years, even before 4B. According to Pew Research, Black women are the most likely demographic to remain unmarried in the U.S., and many say they’ve found peace and joy in focusing on their careers, friendships, and personal growth.

Tiffany Ford, a 40+-year-old entrepreneur from Detroit, shared that she stopped dating after years of carrying emotional labor for men who, in her words, “expected me to nurture them while draining my soul.” Instead, she’s pouring her energy into building generational wealth for her and her son and cultivating joy with her chosen family of girlfriends. “If men want to be allies, they need to show it with action, not just words,” Tiffany explained. These sentiments echo findings from studies that show Black women’s happiness and well-being often increase when they are single, as opposed to in relationships where they frequently feel unsupported. By stepping back from traditional expectations, we are creating space to define our own futures.

For Black women and women of all races, this movement is about liberation. We are choosing ourselves over a society that continually demands our labor, our love, and our silence. Our collective goal in life and in this movement should be to protect young women and girls.

Trump’s “election win” may have been the catalyst, but the fire it’s lit won’t be extinguished anytime soon. Women are walking away from the status quo, and in doing so, we’re discovering a freedom and power that no election result can take from us.

We’re done asking for change. We are the change. And the world needs to adjust.

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