Historical mixed race Queen character on the throne

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“Throning,” a term that’s gaining traction among Gen Z daters, refers to dating someone primarily for the social advantages, opportunities, or connections they can offer rather than for love. But is this a healthy approach to dating? 

According to PureWow, throning involves seeking out partners who can elevate your “reputation” or “ego” simply through association. In other words, it’s about placing someone high on your dating list for their social perks rather than appreciating their personal qualities. For instance, someone might be drawn to dating a celebrity because of their fame and social status, or they could find a lawyer or doctor more appealing due to their high salary and prestigious career.

Dating “up” isn’t a new concept. Research from Science Advances shows that dating app users tend to seek out potential partners who are about 25% more desirable than themselves, based on factors like education, attractiveness, and career status. This trend highlights how people are increasingly prioritizing social status in their dating choices.

 

Happy African American couple talking in a café.

Gen Z daters – Source: skynesher / Getty

 

Here’s why throning isn’t the best dating strategy.

That said, in an era where inflation continues to skyrocket and the wealth gap between the ultra-rich and the rest of society continues to widen, throning can seem ideal if you’re looking for someone to boost your financial stability or network, but there are significant consequences. According to the Swaddle, this phenomenon breeds emotional dissatisfaction between romantic partners because it fosters a shallow approach to relationships, where status and social standing are prioritized over deeper, more meaningful connections. 

The rise of throning also has broader societal implications. It reinforces the idea that wealth and status—rather than kindness, empathy, or emotional chemistry—are the most important qualities to look for in a potential partner. This not only undermines the value of authentic relationships but also perpetuates an unhealthy emphasis on external validation, leading to greater emotional disconnection and dissatisfaction in the long run, the outlet notes.

If you’re seeking genuine, lasting romance, throning isn’t the ideal approach to dating, says Stacy Thomson, founder of Reddi, a new dating app.

Beautiful black woman embracing her boyfriend

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“While it may give temporary confidence or entry into a particular circle, a relationship based primarily on social status often lacks both the depths and stability that come from shared values and emotional intimacy,” Thomson shared during an interview with Indy 100“It’s very important for people engaging in this trend to take a step back and think about their reasons for doing so and how it will affect them and their partner in the long run. Ultimately, real fulfillment in relationships tends to come from authenticity and mutual respect.”

As Thomson puts it, love, respect, and authenticity are the foundation of a healthy relationship, which is why throning seems like a recipe for disaster.

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