9 Red Flags That It May Be Time For You To Try Sobriety

Cool african woman holding a glass of white wine

Source: Unaihuiziphotography / Getty

In an era where substance use often goes unchecked, many people don’t realize when their drinking or drug use is escalating. They might find their daily alcohol consumption increasing, or that their regular cannabis use is affecting their job performance. Or they’re constantly thinking about how many Percocets they can take each day to take the edge off their stress without getting spacey while taking care of their kids. Despite having grown up in homes where substance abuse was present, few believe they will develop a similar problem.

I stopped drinking alcohol in 1994. Fortunately, in the years since, I haven’t experienced any cravings or desire to drink. By the time I finally quit, it was crystal clear to me that I had a different relationship to alcohol than most of my friends. I found it incredible that most could go out and have one glass of wine with dinner, while others would only cut loose on weekends. A couple would binge when struggling through painful situations, like the death of a family member, but I watched them pull back on their consumption once they got through their immediate grief.

The line between experimentation, casual use, heavy use, and full-blown addiction is often a slippery one. While not exhaustive, the following are nine red flags that signal it may be time for you to try a sober lifestyle.

1. Failed Attempts To Quit

Source: shironosov / Getty

Failed attempts to stop using substances create a frustrating and repetitive cycle. You promise to quit drinking or cut back, and for a little while, you succeed. But eventually, stress piles up, cravings hit, and before you know it, you’re back to using. Each failure leaves you questioning why your willpower isn’t enough. “Normal” users don’t feel the need to make an effort to quit; they simply stop.

SEE ALSO

2. Social Isolation

Black female student with problems at desk with group of learning african american students

Source: DMEPhotography / Getty

At first, it might seem like a little alone time is nice, but over time, you might find yourself avoiding friends and family, skipping gatherings, or not answering calls because you don’t want anyone to interrupt your time to drink or drug. You sense a growing distance between you and the people you care about. Even the thought of being around others feels intrusive or even overwhelming. Isolating so you can drink or use without worrying about how others see your behavior will leave you feeling lonely and disconnected. If you find you’re avoiding people so your drinking won’t be disrupted, this can be a significant warning sign that your use has become problematic.

SEE ALSO

3. Neglecting Responsibilities

Source: Rawpixel / Getty

A consistent lack of follow-through is sure to come up if you are struggling with substances. I’m not referring to intentionally shirking your responsibilities, but rather avoiding them because you’re using or trying to get high. This may look like skipping work or school, ignoring chores, or neglecting important commitments just so you can use. At first, these mini-escapes are a relief, but eventually, as the missed deadlines and obligations pile up, you find yourself feeling more stressed and guilty, which leads to more drinking or smoking. If you find yourself locked into a cycle where you’re struggling to handle your day-to-day activities and using alcohol or drugs to quiet the feelings of remorse or shame that keep bubbling up in response, it may be time to quit.

SEE ALSO

4. Increased Tolerance

Source: EyeEm Mobile GmbH / Getty

In the beginning, one or two drinks or a small amount of a drug gave you the buzz you sought. Slowly (or quickly), you notice that a similar amount no longer has the same effect. You start using more of whatever it is that you enjoy to get the same high or even just to feel “normal.” You rationalize it, telling yourself it’s no big deal, but a part of you is wondering if your use is becoming a problem. Increased tolerance is a pretty clear sign that things have shifted in a way that’s worth your paying attention to.

SEE ALSO

5. Continued Use Despite Negative Impact

Woman calling for help as her car broke down

Source: Rawpixel / Getty

Continued use despite negative consequences is a major red flag when it comes to substance use disorder. You find that your drinking or drug use is starting to affect your job, your relationships, or even your health, but you shove these thoughts aside. “It was just a rough few weeks…” “He was always getting on my back about my weed use anyway…good riddance.” Or, “I know the doctor said that I need to stop drinking altogether, but I can cut back and everything will work out.” You find yourself trapped in a cycle where the momentary high feels more important than the fallout. If your use is destroying parts of your life and you keep doing it anyway, it’s a sure sign that your relationship with the substance has become unhealthy.

SEE ALSO

6. Withdrawal Symptoms

A young dark-skinned lady with a glass of water in her hands, takes a pill on the bed, feels bad at home, in the bedroom. A woman who uses a medical drug or painkiller, suffering from headaches, migraines, depression. Medical treatment. Hangover syndrome.

Source: Aleksandr Zubkov / Getty

When someone with substance use disorder stops using drugs or alcohol, they will experience a range of uncomfortable physical and psychological symptoms, like anxiety, nausea, or intense cravings. The natural response is to want these symptoms to go away, so you end up “picking up” again. If you find yourself having intense emotional, physical, or mental challenges when you don’t use, it’s a clear indicator that you’ve developed some sort of dependence on a substance.

SEE ALSO

7. Preoccupation

Source: Rawpixel / Getty

When we are preoccupied with something, we find ourselves spending a lot of time thinking about it. If your drug or alcohol use has slipped into an unhealthy category, it’s likely that you’re constantly thinking about when you can use, planning your day around obtaining whatever your drug of choice is, or feeling restless when they can’t access it. If you find yourself obsessively thinking about a substance, this is a major red flag that you may need to quit using altogether.