15 Things A Woman Should Consider Before Having Children

Moms deeply enjoy caring for their children, a rewarding yet unending job that brings immense fulfillment. However, many matriarchs led vibrant lives filled with adventure, travel, and success before embracing motherhood. Some argue that these experiences are crucial before taking on the ultimate role of being a mother. Here are some things a woman should consider before having kids.

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1. Establish Financial Stability

With the average cost of childcare varying significantly, prices can range from $4,810 ($5,357 in 2022 dollars) for home-based care for school-age children in smaller counties to $15,417 ($17,171 in 2022 dollars) for infant center-based care in very large counties, according to the U.S. Department Of Labor. Given these figures, it’s essential to create a budget, as childcare expenses can represent between 8% and 19.3% of median family income per child.

Create a detailed budget that accounts for current expenses and projected costs of raising children, including healthcare, education, and childcare. Consider setting up a dedicated savings account for future family needs. Planning ahead can help you manage these costs effectively and ensure that you’re prepared for the financial commitment of having children.

2. Prioritize Health

Schedule a comprehensive health check-up and address any medical concerns. Focus on maintaining a balanced diet rich in nutrients, staying active with regular exercise, and managing stress through practices like yoga or meditation to ensure physical and mental well-being. Shanel, a mother of one from Brooklyn, shared that maintaining regular physical activity would have helped her stay active and strong enough to keep up with her energetic daughter.  

“I wish I had more energy to keep up with my baby. That’s something I’m working on regularly now that she’s here,” she told MadameNoire.

3. Complete Education or Career Goals

If you’re pursuing a degree or professional certification, aim to complete it before starting a family. This can enhance your career prospects and provide a more stable environment for children. Shauna, a mother based in New York City told Parade, that she worked an 80-hour work week as a lawyer before she welcomed children. 

“I took on the biggest cases, worked insane hours, made a lot of money and really moved up the ladder. Then when I had kids, I decided to be a stay-at-home mom. I felt like I was ready for a new phase in my life,” she added. 

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4. Strengthen Your Relationship With Your Partner

Invest time in nurturing your relationship with your partner. Engage in open conversations about your future, share experiences, and participate in activities you both enjoy to build a strong partnership that can withstand the challenges of parenting. One mom mentioned in a 2023 Reddit thread that she wished she had gone on more dates with her partner before they had kids.

“My husband and I get one or two evenings a year to ourselves (kids are 8 and 6.) I wish we would have gone out to eat, more movies,” the user shared. “Big ticket item – international travel. I’ve never been out of the United States and it’s much more expensive and difficult as a family of four than a family of two would have been.”

5. Learn Parenting Skills

Read books on parenting, attend workshops, or take prenatal classes to gain knowledge about childbirth, breastfeeding, and newborn care. Familiarizing yourself with various parenting approaches can help you feel more prepared and confident. Sharon, a mother from Brookyln, told MadameNoire that it’s important you know who you’re having children with.

“There’s nothing worse than realizing you had children with the wrong partner. Trust me, I’ve learned from my mistakes,” the 40-year-old mom stressed. “It’s crucial to be with someone who is committed to helping you care for your kids and who is ready to embrace the challenges of parenthood alongside you.”

6. Travel or Explore

Take advantage of your pre-parenthood freedom to travel, whether it’s short weekend getaways or extended trips. Experiencing different cultures and places can enrich your perspective and create lasting memories. Diane, a mom from Chicago told Parade, that she made sure to travel throughout her 20s and 30s so that she wouldn’t miss out on her adventure goals.

“When I had my kids at 35 and 37, I didn’t mind putting travel on hold in the early years, because I did so much already.”

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7. Develop a Support System

Build a network of friends, family, and community resources who can provide emotional and practical support. Connecting with other parents can also offer valuable insights and shared experiences.

8. Establish a Routine

Create a daily routine that incorporates self-care, hobbies, and personal time. Developing a structured yet flexible routine can help you manage your time effectively once you have children.

9. Consider Work-Life Balance

Reflect on your career goals and how they align with family life. Research childcare options and explore flexible work arrangements, such as remote work or adjusted hours, to maintain a healthy balance between work and family responsibilities.

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10. Create a Safe Home Environment

 Assess your home for safety hazards and make necessary modifications. This could include securing furniture, installing safety gates, and creating a designated play area to ensure a child-friendly space.

11. Discuss Parenting Philosophy

Have in-depth discussions with your partner about your values and beliefs regarding parenting. Consider topics such as discipline, education, and cultural traditions to ensure you are on the same page. One helpful mom mentioned in the previous 2023 Reddit thread, that she and her partner checked in regularly about the parenting ideals they wanted to instill before they jumped into parenthood. 

“Be really clear and on the same page when it comes to childcare, what type of parenting you would like, establishing a good routine where you both contribute to the chores and mental burden,” she shared. “Be on the same page as much as possible before kids are actually here. You will definitely still have disagreements but it will be easier if you already have some ideas beforehand.” 

12. Pamper Yourself

Don’t forget to take time for self-care and pampering. Whether it’s enjoying a spa day, indulging in a favorite hobby, or simply relaxing with a good book, prioritizing your own well-being will help you feel rejuvenated and prepared for the journey of motherhood. Continue this practice even after your little ones arrive; it will help you maintain your confidence and sense of self.

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13. Get Financial Insurance

 Review and update your health insurance policy to ensure comprehensive coverage for prenatal care, delivery, and pediatric visits. Look into life insurance options to provide financial security for your family.

14. Prepare Emotionally

Reflect on your emotional readiness for the challenges of parenthood. Consider journaling, seeking counseling, or participating in support groups to explore any concerns or anxieties you may have.

15. Set Goals for the Future

Outline your long-term personal and professional goals, and consider how having children fits into those plans. This might include career aspirations, lifestyle changes, and financial milestones, helping you maintain a clear vision for your family’s future.

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