'Caught in the Act' host Tami Roman On Telltale Signs of Cheating

Source: SHOWTIME/MTV Entertainment Studios & Paramount Media Networks / SHOWTIME/MTV Entertainment Studios & Paramount Media Networks

Tami Roman is using her real-life experiences with infidelity to help everyday people who believe their partners are cheating on them as the host of MTV’s Caught in the Act: Unfaithful!

The reality television star and actress is bringing some harsh life lessons with her as others look to her guidance throughout the episodes. No stranger to being on the opposite end of a cheating partner, she tells MadameNoire her tell-tale signs of cheating.

“From hosting the show, a big one is the cellphone and text messages,” she explained. “Being in the habit of, you used to have their password. They used to lay their phone around. Now, they no longer do that. A behavior change: people used to come straight home after work. They’ll hang out a little, coming home in the wee hours. Those are the things I see on the show.”

She adds, “In my personal life. I should say the red flags have always been communication or lack thereof. When people start in a relationship, you feel like you’re in a safe space. You’re both sharing stuff; you’re getting to know each other. And then, if there’s ever a moment where it feels like it has changed, that’s a problem because if you’re not communicating with me, who are you communicating with? Who’s now getting that emotional side of you? That’s a red flag for me.”

Roman also shared her advice for anyone who may believe they are the victim of infidelity – trust your intuition.

“Analyze what’s happening in the relationship to make sure,” she shared. “Because I do think that a female intuition, men as well, if you think something is happening in your relationship, you can’t knock intuition, but let’s just make sure that the intuition is based on guttural feelings of something in this situation does not serve a purpose for me and I need to investigate that versus bringing your trauma luggage from one situation to the next. Which is why, even on Caught in the Act, I say to people, once they find out the truth, and they make a decision, I always say to them, you’ve got to heal from this experience, and nine times out of 10, they’ll be like, you know, ‘I’m dating, I’m out here. I’m seeing somebody.’”

“You don’t move from one situation to the next, where you haven’t taken accountability for the situation you were just in. What part did you play?” Roman continued. “You haven’t acknowledged what happened in that situation, but you need to be able to recognize it so you don’t go through it again. You just jumped from one thing to the next, so make sure you can decipher between the two and honor those feelings because intuition is real.”

As someone happily married, Roman says she still learned a lot about herself and how she’s a “jack of all trades, a king of none.” For everyone who comes to sit on her couch in the show, she says there is a moment she resonates with them thanks to her lived experiences. Moreover, she also spoke about what hosting Caught in the Act taught her about the current dating pool. 

“Girl, I am so glad to be married because I think that what a relationship represented and signified when I was growing up is not what they represent and signify now,” said the Family Business actress. “That’s why you see people moving in together before they know they’re even going to be together. So many things have changed because, from millennials on, their outlook on life is, ‘Don’t tell me anything. I can do whatever I want. I’m living my truth. I’m going to do it the way I wanna do it.’”

Roman continued, “Gone are the days where a tribe was around to help raise the village. So what you get is men who aren’t serious about women. What you get are women who don’t even understand what should be required in a relationship so that they can be a suitable counterpart. The game has changed. So what I think has to happen, because that’s what we need to get to, is people need to understand for themselves what real self-love is. I know it’s a term that we kick around, but you have to understand what that is and what that means for you so that you get to a place where you enjoy your company and your company.”

“If you get to a place where you enjoy your own company, so that if you don’t your partner, that partner doesn’t find you a year, three years, four years, you’re not out here just settling for the stuff that you know does not serve you, does not add value to you, does not elevate you, empower you, strengthen you in any way. You’re not going to settle for that. You’re going to be okay with, okay ‘I’m going to wait for the right person to come into my space because I deserve that, because I love myself, and that person should as well.” 

Watch Tami Roman as the host of MTV’s Caught in the Act, premiering on Tuesday, September 17 at 9 p.m. ET.

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