Men think they’ve got it all figured out—why they’re winning the game of attracting women or why they are going home alone again from the bar. They believe they know their strengths and their weaknesses. They try to leverage what they believe are their strengths and suppress the qualities they believe turn us off. But sometimes, they’re just wrong. And the reason we like them—or are trying to avoid them—is far different from what they think. Many men have these misconceptions about what women want.
We don’t like “nerds”
“Nerdiness” can either hurt or seriously boost a guy’s game. If a man goes on and on about World of Warcraft, that’s one thing. But, if he just knows a lot about science, the stock market, the changing economy, politics, computer software—that screams ambition to us. The nerd in high school and even college is often the CEO, the owner of an innovative startup, the sought after engineer or the computer programming mogul later on in life. We can see past mediocre looks and maybe an awkward sense of style if there is clearly intelligence and drive there.
We don’t like chivalry
Some men have had the misfortune of coming across a woman who gets mad when a door is opened for her, or the bill paid for (women, you know who you are and stop that). They think this is a man’s way of saying the woman can’t do it herself. For this reason, plenty of men have stopped doing chivalrous acts, for fear of offending us. But they shouldn’t be afraid! Most of us still love those things, and we don’t see it as men thinking we can’t do something ourselves, but rather them thinking we are hard-working, awesome women who deserve to be treated once in a while!
Women care what kind of car you drive:
We don’t necessarily want every guy to drive a Maserati. We pay attention to the type of car a man drives, but just so we can get a sense of who he is. Does he drive a Jaguar (represents a taste for timeless, classy items)? A Prius (represents a concern for the environment or economic savvy)? Does he drive a muscle car (we all know what this represents). But, we would never want a man to get a “nice” car that didn’t fit his personality at all, just to impress someone. That action in and of itself is unattractive.
We all want a relationship
A lot of men feel that women are just waiting for the man to say the words, “let’s make this official.” They think that we are always on the lookout for a boyfriend and if we like a guy, we stop seeing others and just wait for him to be ready for things to get serious. Get. Real. Many of us have active social lives, fulfilling careers, amazing friendships and aren’t going to settle for less than the guy that fits our life just right. Plenty of women actively see multiple men at once to find the right fit. And, far from asking “does he think I’ll make a good girlfriend?” are asking “honestly, do I even want this guy to be my boyfriend?”
You have to be “good in bed”:
Ever slept with a guy with all sorts of tricks and you’re asking yourself, “Woah, where did those come from?” That guy, among many others, bought into the myth that men all over the world are reading up on those tricks and that women will think they are so lame if they can’t pull out all the stops. Look, if we like a guy, we are willing to give him a little instruction. We would rather a guy did just what he was comfortable with than it being so obvious he is trying all sorts of GQ-fed techniques to the point where he isn’t even enjoying himself anymore.
We’re into “manscaping”:
We don’t all want to date an Abercrombie model with a hair-less body, arms bursting in muscles and tight abs. Just as men don’t like when women become insecure and compare ourselves to others, we don’t like when men are clearly uncomfortable with their body and say something like “bet you wish I was that guy” when someone who could be on the cover of Men’s Health strolls by. We weren’t wishing that. We probably never wish that. And your body “imperfections” only become more apparent to us if you point them out.
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