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Female friendship is essential for emotional well-being, development and community. Black female friendship is compelling in the lives of Black women. As Seanna Leath, Ph.D. explains in Psychology Today, through each other, Black women come to understand their history, culture and identities as they pertain to society at large – particularly a society still struggling with racial tension.
There’s another layer of friendship that’s important to explore, though. And that’s multi-generational friendships. Having friends who are older and younger than you can add richness to your life and several benefits to your personal growth. Here are reasons to have intergenerational friendships.
Combat Phase-Of-Life Loneliness
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Throughout life, some transitions can create shifts in your friend groups. These shifts include leaving college, getting married, and having children. Having friends of different age groups during these transitions can help combat loneliness.
If you don’t have children, but most of your friends your age do, there will be a time when they mostly disappear. Parenting will be their top priority, leaving you in the dust for a minute. Having older friends can be a big blessing then. If they had kids, those kids are already grown and out of the house, leaving those friends free to travel, go to concerts and grab happy-hour drinks with you.
Prevent Small-Mindedness
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You probably know older people who struggle to adapt to the times. Maybe it’s an aunt or a boss who judges everything people ages 16-25 are doing. They even wind up saying politically incorrect and insensitive things – because they don’t know better. Chances are that they don’t have younger friends.
Having younger friends helps you stay connected to how the next generation develops and thinks. One time, you were “the young person” with the “radical” ideas. Now, those ideas are mostly mainstream. Many societal shifts in young people today will be considered normal one day. Befriending that generation helps you understand more intimately and measuredly why young people think and behave as they do. It enables you to keep expanding your mind at every age. In a way, intergenerational friendships keep you ageless.
Intergenerational Friendships Give You Perspective
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Having older friends has a way of quickly giving you a perspective check. When you’re stressed out about something at work or some issue with a partner, older friends have a way of showing you how little that all matters. They’ve already been through all of life’s struggles that you’re going through now. And they can tell you that it all has a way of working out.
Additionally, having older friends opens your eyes to the problems older people can have, like health issues or seeing friends pass away. It can give you a sense of gratitude for where you are in life and really shine a light on the smallness of your problems.
See Your Place In History
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This is especially important for Black women. Befriending older Black women can open up incredible conversations about racial progress and Black history in America. Speaking to a friend who lived through segregation or whose grandparents were slaves can profoundly impact your sense of where this country has been and where it’s heading.
These conversations also provide a chance to pay homage to those who came before, fought for the freedoms enjoyed today, and showed tremendous bravery. You can read about it in books, but nothing compares to befriending someone who lived through it. These conversations can also open your eyes to how history might be repeating itself – which is a critical step in stopping it.
Receive And Impart Life Lessons
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Having older friends gives you privileged access to hard-earned life lessons and wisdom. From marriage to career to finances, older friends have been through it all and can advise you on the emotional and practical side. Research published in The Chronicle of Evidence-Based Mentoring found that Black women, in particular, benefit from having Black female mentors in their lives. These relationships can help with resource sharing, self-affirmation through shared experiences, and intergenerational healing.
Having younger friends allows you to be that mentor and impart that wisdom. It feels good to see your hard-earned lessons go to use in someone you care about. Maybe they don’t have to learn the hard way now.
