5 Ways To Tell Your Partner You Need Alone Time, Respectfully

young black couple talking together on sofa needing alone time

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No matter how much you like, love or adore your partner, everybody needs alone time sometimes. When it comes to family and friendship, people get this. We aren’t expected to be attached at the hip to loved ones 24/7. But, for some reason, that same understanding doesn’t always extend to romantic relationships.

If your honeymoon period is winding down, and that gotta-be-with-you-always, addictive quality has dimmed, you could find yourself craving some time apart. But, transitioning from being together constantly to taking a little space can be tough. You don’t want it to seem like there’s a “problem.” And taking time to yourself doesn’t have to be a sign of an issue – it’s healthy. The question is: how do you ask for alone time without upsetting a partner?

Tie It To Your Mental Health

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A good partner wants the best for your mental health. Explain to them that regular solitude has always been a part of your self-care routine – even when you were single. You can also discuss the idea that, in order to be a good partner, you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else. In that light, you actually take alone time for the sake of the relationship.

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Be Direct (It’s Respectful)

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Don’t feel the need to beat around the bush or make up some reason you need to be alone. Direct communication is best, and most important in a relationship. You should feel that you can communicate your needs with your partner, and they probably want honesty from you.

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Don’t Use The Word “Space”

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There’s a big difference between wanting “alone time” and wanting “space.” Alone time suggests that you simply don’t want to be with anyone at all – not anyone in particular. Asking for “space” sounds like you’re asking for time away from your partner specifically. (Of course, if that is what you want, that’s another issue).

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Plan Something With Them

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In the same breath of asking for alone time, plan something special with your partner. You can state when you’ll be taking alone time, and then immediately suggest something you can do together after. That way, they know you do want to spend time with them.

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Ask If They Would Like Alone Time

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There’s a chance that your partner wants alone time, too, and wasn’t sure how to bring it up. This conversation could create an opportunity for you both to express your needs around alone time. Perhaps your partner had never thought about the benefits of alone time and the things they’d like to do if given the time. It’s easy as a new couple to get so wrapped up in each other that you forget about the activities you used to enjoy doing alone.

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