Source: PeopleImages / Getty
Ideally, when you’re attracted to someone and even love someone, the sexual chemistry would just be there. If the emotional and mental connection both line up, it’s nice to think that your bodies would be equally compatible. But realistically, sometimes you meet someone who is bad in bed. The chemistry is great everywhere but the bedroom. It can be incredibly frustrating, but not uncommon. It can be even more frustrating when the reason is as clear as the transparent dildo you’ve turned to for pleasure: your partner is bad in bed.
Nobody quite knows why or how, but there are fully grown adults out there who can get deep into their 30s, 40s and beyond having no clue what they’re doing when it comes to sex. Maybe there was never anyone bold enough to say something. Maybe you need to be that somebody. So, how the hell do you tell someone they’re bad in bed? We’ve come up with some clever ways to do it without blowing up the relationship.
Choose The Right Timing
https://giphy.com/gifs/thenakedconvos-relationship-conversation-breakup-twHut64NJoMJOTeTfs
It’s probably not a good time to mention turr’ble sex while you’re in the middle of having turr’ble sex. Doing so can be embarrassing over even traumatizing for the person receiving the unfortunate news. Choose a more neutral time to have this conversation. Be honest, tactfully–but not brutal. Read on.
Focus On What They’re Doing Right
https://giphy.com/gifs/americasgottalent-agt-americas-got-talent-l2SpK9FYJFK5QY78Q
One way to get your partner to stop doing what you don’t like is to praise them for what you do like. Really drive the point home that you love it when they do x, y or z. Chances are they want to please you, so telling them what works helps them move in the right direction and abandon those unsatisfying tricks you don’t like.
Make It A Fun, Sexy Lesson
https://giphy.com/gifs/sonta-73LExUetEIqQsedJgx
Guide your partner – literally. Hold their hand, point them in the right direction, tell them what to do. You can even role play or get into a little BDSM situation, where you require your partner to stay still while you interact with them in ways that feel best to you. This demonstrates to your partner what works for you, without you having to be critical.
Explain Your Discomfort
https://giphy.com/gifs/ShalitaGrant-ugh-come-on-dIoj7wTlO0l5S
If there is something your partner does that makes you uncomfortable – physically or emotionally – speak up. You don’t need to be tactful about this. Your comfort is the most important thing and if your partner is doing something that causes discomfort, say something–with yo’ chest.
Open Yourself Up To Feedback
https://giphy.com/gifs/poseonfx-RfBCcRj6eWVoPYQAfh
Before giving any sort of feedback, you might consider requesting some. Ask your partner if there’s something you do in bed that they like or don’t like. Ask if there’s anything they want you to do differently. Now, you’ve started a dialogue about knocking boots, and showing that you are just as willing to receive criticism as you are to give it.
