Source: PixelCatchers / Getty
Wanting to feel like you add value to the spaces you’re in is a universal desire. And one of the top ways any of us feels valuable is by feeling heard. But the truth is, not everyone gets their chance to speak as much as others – literally. That’s because some people deal and work with someone who talks over them, cuts them off or doesn’t even create room for them to speak. You know who these folks are, and if you’re dealing with someone who talks over you, you just wish you could slap some duct tape over their mouths sometimes.
Dealing with people who talk over others and interrupt is a part of life for everyone, but more for some than others. One study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology showed that the ideas of Black women in group discussions are misremembered and wrongly credited more than those of Black men, white men and white women. So, how do you deal with an incessant interrupter? We’ve got some ways you can make your voice heard around these (insufferable) individuals.
Get Ahead Of The Interruptions
https://giphy.com/gifs/nbc-council-of-dads-gGwFZDOZcMh384m88s
If you are initiating a conversation with the interrupter, you can get ahead of the issue with a simple statement. Try something like, “Before I start, I just need to say I have to get this out clearly without interruptions. I can lose my train of thought if I’m interrupted. So please hold any comments or questions until I’m done.” For many interrupters, nobody puts these parameters around the communication for them. Doing so makes them hyper-aware of their urge to interrupt, and pre-labels that behavior as “problematic.”
Try A Simple “I Wasn’t Finished”
https://giphy.com/gifs/realitytvgifs-bad-girls-club-bgc-zRZwvrzNJklqg
If someone interrupts you, try just interrupting right back and saying “I wasn’t finished.” It’s direct and to the point. You aren’t necessarily accusing them of anything. You are pointing out the fact that you were clearly mid-talking when they interrupted, and you are reclaiming your turn to speak. This also brings attention to the fact that the interrupter needs to be more aware of when someone is naturally done getting their thought out.
Don’t Wait For An Opening (It Isn’t Coming)
https://giphy.com/gifs/peacocktv-cYOICPJyr1FBwkEzFN
With some people who just go on and on and on, there is never a break in their monologue. If you’re waiting for an opening to speak, it isn’t coming. You will have to stoop to their level a little bit, and also interrupt. But, if you’re smart about it, you can do so in a way that isn’t too disruptive. When you can tell they are on the last couple of words of one thought, jump in. Allowing them to fully finish that sentence will just mean they jump into the next, so you have to find that ideal moment to cut in before they transition into a new thought.
Talk Through The Interruption
https://giphy.com/gifs/cbsnews-election-2020-cbs-news-vice-presidential-debate-P60bGD3rhwPrCLN5Bf
You don’t have to stop speaking because someone has interrupted you. They do not respect the fact that you were talking, so there is no reason you should respect their interruption. You can raise your voice slightly as you continue what you were saying, to bring the attention back to yourself. This can be a good tactic as it shows the interrupter that interrupting doesn’t mean they always get the stage.
Pause. Then Say “As I Was Saying”
https://giphy.com/gifs/mark-zuckerberg-testimony-house-financial-services-committee-dZGEzbXmo8ukSCqsGb
This can be effective when the interrupter is very forceful. Stop speaking and let them say what they want to say. Then, do not address what they’ve said in any way. Just let there be an awkward moment of silence and state, “As I was saying.” It brings everyone’s attention – including the interrupter’s – to the fact that that person cut you off. It also undermines whatever they just said, because it shines a new light on it – the light of “You cut me off.”
Use Hand Gestures And Body Language
https://giphy.com/gifs/iheartjingleball-iheartradio-jingleball-l0HlH030EYysX8QjC
Sometimes, words won’t have any effect on the interrupter because they are just so loud and forceful. In those times, you’ll need to use body language You can put your hand up in the “stop” gesture to indicate it’s not their turn to speak. You can also put your hand on the bridge of your nose and look down, clearly showing frustration and disappointment, which might prompt them to stop and ask what’s wrong. Depending on the relationship, you could simply start walking away and when they ask why, you can say, “I don’t deal with people who interrupt me.”
Address The Interrupter Privately
https://giphy.com/gifs/grownish-ff-freeform-grown-ish-Z0ur4UAu1t7BzaC20Y
If the issue persists, you can speak to the person privately specifically about this problem. It’s possible that they are not aware that they do it. If they care to fix it, doing so could take time. You can come up with a signal you give them when they are interrupting you (or others) to show them they’re doing it. They might appreciate you talking to them about it one-on-one, rather than calling them out in a public setting.
