Finding Your Purpose Is More Selfless Than You Realize

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The average life expectancy in America is just under 80 years old. That’s up about 12 years from 1950, says Macro Trends. Thanks to countless human innovations (and maybe a better understanding of things like cigarettes and trans fats) people are living longer. We’re being gifted more time. But, time is only a gift if you spend it in a way that feels…purposeful. And for many humans, that isn’t the case.

For a lot of people, more time just means more years feeling numb, disconnected, apathetic, lost and a slew of other not-so-great emotions. There is a really vital, electric, magnetic energy to tap into in life. But, you need to figure out how to plug into it, and not everyone does. The key to experiencing that is finding your purpose. There’s a lot more to it than you might realize.

Why Billionaires Get Sad

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Without sounding too much like a Berkeley professor who wears hemp necklaces and canvas sandals, you can blame a lot of human numbness to our capitalistic (and materialistic) society. Money, status and power, as it turns out, do not plug you into the life-giving, animating energy source that sits right beneath the surface, and is there for any of us to tap into, at any moment.

That’s why, as Business Insider reports, so many billionaires get depressed. They built their lives around a “someday” philosophy. “Someday, when I achieve this or that, I get to be happy.” Or “Someday, when I have this much stuff, I’ll be happy.” Then that day comes, it lasted all of a few hours or weeks, and…they had nothing left. Even astronauts who spent their lives preparing to walk on the moon were only actually on the moon for like 21 hours.

Many people have this experience: reaching that “pinnacle” of their goals, only to feel a deep letdown afterwards. Want to know what their biggest problem was? They didn’t find their purpose – or at least, not a good one. Not every purpose is good. And purpose is about so much more than some finite and specific moment in the future. Purpose is the energy that can ignite your every waking moment. If you have a good one.

Death Bed Confessions For Life Affirming Choices

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Maybe you’ve heard of the hospice care nurse who recorded the top regrets of her patients. If you haven’t, the most common ones had nothing to do with wanting more power, more money or more stuff. Most people spoke of wishing they’d lived a life more true to themselves – not what others expected of them. They also spoke of wishing they’d been happier, and recognizing that happiness is a choice. Lastly, many wished they’d maintained more close and meaningful relationships.

What people think of during their dying days gives you a real look into what humans always want – even when they’re young and healthy. We want meaning, connection and joy. And that can be a starting point for finding your purpose.

What Is A Good Purpose?

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Before talking about having a “good” purpose, it’s important to note that calling it “good” isn’t about judging it. At the end of this, finding your purpose will help you achieve your goals. So don’t worry: this doesn’t end with the advice that you just live under a coconut tree, removed from society.

A good purpose does two things: 1) It empowers you to feel joy and meaning every day and every hour – not just “someday” and 2) It provides an endless source of energy. Purposes like wealth and power really aren’t all that energizing. That’s because they’re attached to something you might get, in a very long time. And even then – you only might get it. Meanwhile, a good purpose connects you to something you can achieve and feel every single day. Some examples are:

Making people happy
Being of service to others
Making others’ lives better
Making the world a better place
Inspiring others

When things like those listed above are your purpose, you’re in a great position because you can achieve those every single day. You can find ways to make people happy or brighten your corner of the world every single day, even in seemingly boring tasks. It doesn’t only happen once you’ve made X amount of money or once you’ve gained X amount of followers.

You’re probably noticing that good purposes have a lot to do with other people and little to do with your personal gains. That’s intentional. The feeling of being of service is energizing. On the other hand, when you’re only in your goals for yourself, you’ll run out of fuel quickly. And that’s because, you won’t get daily bursts of…whatever you’re looking for. Ego boost. Power. A million dollars. That stuff happens in isolated moments, far in the future, and sometimes not at all. Those are not energy sources you can tap into daily. Your purpose is what drives you – not just what you’re driven towards.

If you need a few final morsels of evidence that giving back is more fulfilling than taking what you can, consider this: research shows that people who volunteer are significantly happier (Journal of Happiness) than those who don’t and – here’s the real kicker – poor people are more likely to volunteer than the wealthy (NPR). It goes against all logic, right? At least, capitalist logic. You’d think poor people would be more concerned with improving their own circumstances than helping others, and that the wealthy would be the most generous. In reality, people with minimal financial resources who give back experience more joy than wealthy people who don’t give back. If that doesn’t emphasize the importance of a service-focused life being central to happiness, we don’t know what does.