The Power Of Touch In (Almost) Every Type Of Relationship
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From the moment we’re born, physical touch is crucial to our survival; babies need physical touch to develop and be healthy. There’s that all-important skin-to-skin time that happens within just the first hour of a baby being born – when the mom lays her newborn on her chest for contact. This skin-to-skin time helps to regulate the baby’s heart rate. It even boosts relaxing hormones in the mother, says Stanford Medicine.
We’ve long understood that human beings need physical touch, but, it isn’t as embraced in some cultures as others. In fact, in a study published in The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, researchers found that Americans are significantly less comfortable with non-intimate physical touch (like hugging acquaintances) than other cultures. That means we could miss out on many of the benefits of this type of affection. And the benefits are not to be overlooked. Here, we discuss the power of touch and how you can harness its powers in your life.
Even Couples Need Non-Intimate Touch
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Couples who are experiencing communication issues, ongoing conflict, or emotional disconnect might seek professional help in the form of a couples counselor. And there, they might expect to participate primarily in talk therapy. However, there is a school of thought amongst marriage and family therapists that focuses on the importance of non-intimate (i.e. non-sexual) physical touch. Exercises that utilize this type of touch have become popular in relationship counseling.
Some therapists might have couples engage in something called “mindful hugging,” wherein they just embrace each other – silently – for a few minutes. Then after, they discuss what emotions came up during the hug, as well as how they felt before versus after the hug. Another exercise might involve a couple touching their foreheads together for several minutes, and examining how they feel after that. So much is communicated through physical touch that verbal communication fails to do.
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The Physical + Emotional Benefits Of Touch
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The benefits of physical touch last beyond the moment of the hug, the hand hold, or the gentle palm on the shoulder. Humans are social creatures who need to be physically close to others in order to enjoy optimal health. Physical affection shouldn’t only be seen as a pleasure or a luxury but as a necessity. Below are some of the proven physical and emotional benefits of regular physical affection:
- Lower blood pressure. Research published the National Library of Medicine (NLM) shows that physical affection can nearly instantly lower one’s blood pressure.
- Improve sleep. Regular physical touch can lead to better sleep. Plus, research out of the Center for Integrative Psychiatry reported on Healthline shows that sleeping next to a loved one increases REM sleep.
- Reduce inflammation. The same NLM study that showed the blood pressure benefits of touch also found a correlation between regular physical touch and lower inflammation rates in the body.
- Stress reduction. The NLM report further showed that physical touch can lower cortisol levels and help people through stressful times.
- Improve teen behavior and wellbeing. This is an especially critical piece of data for parents: being affectionate with your children from a young age can reduce their chances of adolescent violence and drug use, according to a report published in the NLM.
- Improved relationships. Another study reported in the NLM found that regular physical touch can lead to greater self-reported relationship satisfaction.
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How To Use The Power Of Touch In Your Life
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Now that we understand the importance of non-intimate physical affection, it’s clear that it can benefit nearly every type of relationship in your life (where appropriate). Some ways to harness its power might include:
- Cuddling with friends. Being single or living far from family doesn’t have to mean you can’t enjoy physical affection. Be more affectionate with your friends. Cuddle up for a movie night with a platonic friend. Hug your friends more. Hold a friend’s hand during an intimate conversation to increase connection.
- Reduce tension with a partner. At times when you are feeling distant from your partner or are experiencing ongoing conflict, try to say less and touch more. Take a break from verbal communication and just hold each other for a few minutes. This will instantly make your bodies feel more relaxed and both parties feel more emotionally connected. From there, you can re-engage in verbal communication from a calmer and more loving place.
- Snuggle your kids. Don’t underestimate the power of giving your children physical affection. Even on days when they’re misbehaving, be sure to give them plenty of hugs. Physical affection should not only be reserved for “good kids.” In fact, plenty of physical touch from parents can be what results in “good kids.”
People were born to be close. We rely on each other for survival, and even if that no longer means hunting and gathering together, it still means being physically near each other. We evolved to respond positively to physical touch, and giving and receiving physical affection shouldn’t just be reserved for romantic partners. It’s a beautiful behavior that can benefit nearly every type of relationship.
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