AJ_Watt
It’s exciting when you get that notification on a dating app – it’s a match. You’ve spent so much time curating your profile, choosing the perfect photos and getting that bio just right. Then there are all of those minutes and hours spent swiping through your options, hoping to find someone who catches your eye. With Statista reporting over 26 million people on dating apps in the U.S., there are a lot of options to look over.
Once you swipe right, request a match or whatever tells someone else you’re interested … you wait. So getting the green light to start actually chatting with someone is a small win. It can be devastating when you go through all of that to find someone unmatched you. But, it happens. And while you might be upset and give up, perhaps it’s worth considering what went wrong. Here are possible reasons someone unmatched you on a dating app.
Too Many DMs
Showing a little enthusiasm can be a good thing. Sending nine consecutive messages in a row can be creepy. Online chatting should have a similar rhythm to real-life conversations. Translation: wait for the other person to respond to the first thing you said before saying eight more things. Good listening skills are just as important online as they are IRL. Plus, too many DMs in a short time period can come off as a little needy.
Not Enough DMs
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There’s that all-important conversational rhythm again. It isn’t fun when a friend takes three days to respond to your text and it’s equally frustrating when an online match doesn’t get back to you for days on end. Momentum is everything when first getting to know someone, and it begins with keeping up with those DMs in a timely manner. Failing to respond for days can also be indicative of how much time a person makes in their life for relationships – in general.
Dragging Things Out
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You don’t want to rush the meet-up, but don’t drag things out, either. This suggests you aren’t serious about finding love. And, maybe you’re not. Lendedu reports that nearly 45 percent of online daters are only on the apps to seek validation. But, that’s unfair to the many other users on there who are actually looking for a relationship. If you don’t intend on meeting up, don’t waste the other person’s time with endless DMing unless you want to get unmatched.
One-Word Answers
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One-word answers like “yup” and “sure” can suggest a number of questionable intentions. But there’s one thing these types of answers don’t imply: that the person genuinely cares to get to know their match. If you aren’t great at chatting online, you can always suggest a phone call or FaceTime instead. But whatever you do, avoid one-word answers because they come off as you not taking the interaction seriously or not being interested.
Requesting A Pic
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Asking for a pic right away screams, looks and appearance rank high for you. Some serious daters think it’s linked to superficial dating and casual sex. And if that is what you’re after, that’s fine, but stick to apps that have a hook-up reputation. People on apps like Match and OkCupid are often looking for a real relationship, according to the Lendedu report. So know your audience, and get on an app where you’ll find people with the same goals. Otherwise, you’ll get unmatched often.
Clearly Ignoring The Bio
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When a match asks questions that were clearly answered in the bio, that little alarm starts to go off. It says, “This person just does a mass swipe-right frenzy without actually looking at anybody’s information.” And, that never makes someone feel very good. Even if the swipe-right numbers game is your game, take the time to read a person’s bio before starting a conversation, once you do match.
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