His Habits That Are Bad For Your Vagina

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The Journal of Sex Research shows that sexual satisfaction is linked to communication about sex. And yet, experts in the psychology community at Psychology Today acknowledge that talking about what goes on in the bedroom is difficult even for couples who have great communication in other areas. Now, when we talk about sexual communication, maybe we think of telling our partner what we want in bed. We think about expressing fantasies we’d like to play out, or even just mentioning something our partner does that doesn’t work for us. And, sure, that’s all a part of it. But you also have to realize that, when you get physically intimate with somebody, you’ve put some of the responsibility over your health in somebody else’s hands. Sex is as intimate as it gets and you are allowing the habits and choices of somebody else to potentially impact your body.

If you’re in a long-term, committed relationship, you probably already talk to your partner about some of his lifestyle choices that could impact you. You ask him, for example, to remember to lock the door at night so burglars don’t get in and so you can stay safe. You ask him if you can, as a household, switch to a healthier diet since you make meals together. So, what about talking to your partner about the things he does in the bedroom that affect your body? Specifically, your vagina. Here are his habits that are bad for your vagina. If he’s doing them, say something.

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Not washing his hands

Your man has to wash his hands before putting them anywhere near your lady parts. Remember that urinary tract infections occur when bacteria enters the urinary tract, which can happen from several kinds of sexual activity – including fingering. Women have shorter urethras than men, which Mayo Clinic says makes for a shorter journey to the bladder, and higher risk of UTIs in women. Think of all of the things your guy might do before you get in bed, from handling raw meat while cooking you dinner to grabbing nasty subway rails on the way over. He needs to wash his hands thoroughly before touching you.

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Using cheap soap

If you make the effort to buy natural, gentle soaps, that will only take you so far if your partner is buying cheap, chemically-loaded, synthetic soaps. If there is any soap residue left on his penis, hands, or face that could get on and into your vagina. A lot of cheap soaps contain ingredients that can irritate the vagina, like propylene glycol—an alcohol that can be very irritating to your lady parts. Many also contain dyes, which the vagina won’t respond well to. If your man is still picking up soap from the dollar store with a long ingredients list, you may need to get him some natural soaps for your sake.

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Not cutting his nails

For goodness sake, fellas, keep your nails short. It’s just common decency. How would you like it if your doctor gave you your physical – you know, the one where you cough and bend over – with long nails? You’d b-line it out of his office. That’s how women feel when they see you haven’t cut your nails. If you’re going to put your hands on our va-jay-jay, you need trimmed nails, dudes. Not only is it painful for us if you accidentally cut us down there, but even tiny tears in the vagina provide an opening for bacteria to get in, and for an infection to occur.

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Having rough facial hair

Men who regularly go down on their partner (which should honestly be all of you – be generous, now) have two facial hair options. You can either 1) have a perfectly smooth-shaven face like a baby’s bottom or 2) have a fully-grown beard, Santa Claus style. Most in-between facial hair styles prove problematic for us. The half-way grown beard or a two-day five-o-clock shadow makes your facial hair sharp and bristly, gentlemen. All of that friction when you’re down there can leave us with a rash that makes the area very sensitive. Women know what I’m talking about. It’s like rug burn on your vagina.

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Ignoring dryness

Women will need to get comfortable discussing this with men a bit more. A man can’t always tell when you’re fully lubricated or not. And some women struggle to self-lubricate. Research out of the International Journal of Reproductive Medicine shows a link between hormonal contraception and female sexual function (like getting wet). If a guy tries to start intercourse before you’re properly lubricated, sex can be uncomfortable and even painful. Furthermore, under-lubricated sex can lead to small tears in the vagina, which can welcome bacteria. Your partner should become familiar with your body and recognize when you need to be more lubricated before sex can occur.

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Not showering before sex

Remember how UTIs occur when foreign bacteria makes its way into your urinary tract? Well, that’s why it’s very important that your partner showers before sex. He may come home from the gym feeling all full of testosterone and wanting to get it on, but he needs to rinse off, first. To put it plainly: he needs a clean penis before he puts it inside of you. Again, make sure he’s using gentle soaps. Also make sure he rinses thoroughly. Even residue left behind from organic soaps can irritate your vagina, so make sure he gets all of the soap off of his member before intercourse.

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Firey foods and foreplay

Most women have been through this. Your partner made you dinner. Maybe a spicy dinner. He chopped tons of vegetables to make you a gorgeous meal, and one of those vegetables was a jalapeno. Maybe a habanero pepper. Perhaps the notoriously-hot ghost pepper. The truth is that, all of the hand-washing in the world can’t get that residue off, that night. And if he puts his hands on or in your vagina after handling spicy food, your vagina is going to burn. It will feel like you’re developing an STD right there on the spot. Be wary of firey foods and foreplay. They don’t mix.