Adam and Kev
Quality time with your girlfriends is good for your well-being. Studies have found that women naturally seek out friendship in times of stress – quite the opposite of men who can go into their holes when life isn’t going their way. Additional research has even shown that having a strong social network can help prevent or minimize mental illness. So spending quality time with your friends isn’t just a luxury: it should be considered a critical part of your self-care routine. In our busy lives, how often do we really get to spend quality, uninterrupted time with friends, though? There’s nothing quite like a girls trip for that.
Traveling with friends removes you from the busy calendars and obligations that usually limit your interactions to coffee dates and lunches. And doing something like traveling with friends actually intensifies the experience. So you’ll feel closer to friends, and enjoy the trip more because friends are there. Now that we understand the importance of these trips, you can see why, if you find a group of friends to travel with, you should cherish it. Don’t squander it by making some of these mistakes that will get you uninvited on the next girls trip.
1)Breaking The No Posting Rule
There are many reasons the group may not want anybody posting photos and videos from the girls trip on social media. Maybe one person works at a very conservative company, and can’t have videos of her putting dollar bills, with her teeth, in the cleavage of a drag queen cabaret dancer on the Internet. Maybe there was one person who wasn’t invited on the trip, whose feelings would be very hurt if they learned about it. Maybe one person’s husband gets very upset when he sees her at a bar with other men. If there’s been a no posting rule put into place, respect it.
2) Bringing Back A Random
Girls’ trips are meant to be about time with the girls. They’re not supposed to be for ditching the girls for some cute guy you met, so you can go back to his hotel room. Or worse: bring him back to your shared AirBnb to make your friends listen to you hook up. Hooking up with a guy on a girls trip says to your friends that you care more about one night of pleasure with someone you’ll never see again than strengthening bonds with potentially life-long friends. Besides, your friends just don’t want to make small talk with a wasted stranger you picked up at a bar when they’re trying to do mani-pedis back at the rented cottage and watch Netflix.
3) Being A Diva
When you travel alone, or with your partner, you can be picky about accommodations. But finding a place that suits the tastes and budgets of, say, eight women isn’t easy. So if you have to share a room, or even a bed, for this trip, suck it up. If it’s not the beach-front cabana you wanted but rather a house four blocks from the beach, just go with it. Sharing a bathroom and taking long drunk walks home together when you can’t get a cab from the beach bar is part of the fun. When you’re home, you can have your accommodations your way.
4) Trashing The AirBnb
If you mess up the AirBnb, one of two things just happened: you either have to pay for that mess, or you’ve triggered an argument about whether or not you should all split the cost for repairing the TV. Either way, if the place was booked on your friend’s account, her ratings just went down as a guest, and she won’t appreciate you for it. Nobody likes the friend who gets too drunk and spills a bottle of wine on the carpet or breaks the Jacuzzi. Even if it’s an accident, friends may remember and think it’s best not to bring you along for the next girls trip.
5) Criticizing The Plans Without Helping
In every group, there’s one: the person who shoots down everyone’s ideas but has none of their own. Don’t be that one. Don’t say the restaurant is too expensive, that one has no ambiance, and that one is too far away, unless you have three counter-suggestions to give. And don’t say that that show sounds boring and that the museum exhibit is too crowded, unless you have other ideas of what the group can do. Even then, don’t be negative when others are doing the hard work of finding something for the group to do. You’re better off going to see a show you feel less-than-excited about, than being the friend who shot down every idea. This trip is about the company, anyways – not the activities.
6) Not Feeling Out The Budget
Try to read the room about the budget. Maybe you like to live large, but the others clearly don’t feel comfortable paying for $300 massages at a high-end spa. They’d rather go to the $40 place at the mall. Maybe they’re more on the plan that involves hole-in-the-wall bars instead of clubs with $60 cover charges and $20 drinks. Again, if you want to do luxury things, you can do those when you travel alone or with a partner. Pressuring everyone to do expensive things makes it seem like this trip is more for you and about the activities than the people you’re with.
7) Getting Cliquey
The point of a group trip is that the group stays together. So don’t be cliquey. Don’t ask just a couple of the women to join you on a morning hike or trip to the shops, leaving the others wandering out of their bedrooms wondering where everyone went. If you want to do something and only one other woman is interested, just sit it out. Don’t go off, just the two of you. And if someone on the trip is bothering you, speak to them directly rather than complaining to the others. Gossiping is a sure-fire way to look like the one who always starts something, and nobody wants that person on trips.
8) Making Everyone Wait
You can’t really be high maintenance when you’re with a group and you’re on a schedule. If there aren’t many bathrooms in the AirBnb, you may have to forego straightening your hair or doing your soak in the tub for this one. People need to use the bathroom. And when it’s time to get out the door for reservations or tickets to a show, you can’t make everyone late because you were doing the red carpet version of your makeup. If everyone loses their seats at the restaurant because of your eyeshadow, you’ll have a very upset group on your hands the rest of the trip.
9) Pushing Your Own Agenda
A go-with-the-flow attitude is crucial to being re-invited on girls trips. Nobody likes a Miss Bossy Pants who tries to force everyone onto her agenda. Don’t get your sights set on anything until running it by the group. Certainly don’t create and email everyone an agenda with hour-by-hour activities including bathroom breaks, when nobody asked for that. Girls trips do not need a drill sergeant. If nobody is stepping up and making plans, you can suggest something, but don’t book and reserve things without talking to everyone first. And definitely don’t schedule any early morning activities because you’ll all be hungover.
10) Never Saying Yes
If you want to be invited on girls trips, you have to say yes. That means recognizing that sometimes, it’s worth it to use some of your vacation days, and go somewhere you wouldn’t have normally visited if the girls invite you. Don’t say no if it isn’t the exact way you want to spend your vacation days. If you say no too many times, they’ll stop inviting you. Oh, and no matter what, do not ask to bring your significant other. Not only will it be a “No,” but it also tells the group not to invite you in the future, since you always try to bring the fella.
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