How You And Your Partner Can Be Good Financial Influences On Each Other
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Couples who are married, planning to marry, or live together are likely already aware that they need to get on the same page about finances.
But even couples who haven’t yet made such large commitments should know that money is already playing a role in their happiness. Research has found that even young couples (who don’t yet talk about finances) say money causes stress in their relationship.
Meanwhile, couples who discuss finances regularly tend to be happier than those who do not. Additional research shows that your romantic partner’s financial habits can impact your sense of well-being. So keeping money “out of the relationship” isn’t really an option – it’s already in there whether you want to see it or not.
Even if your lives are not yet fully intertwined, you can see how your partner’s financial situation and his habits pertaining to spending, saving, investing, and budgeting could impact your happiness. Deep down, you may hope to conjoin your lives a bit more, and if you see now that he’s bad at saving, or perhaps that he lives so frugally it’s hard to enjoy life, you might worry that one day that will be a bigger factor in your life. Luckily, individuals in relationships tend to have a powerful influence over each other, and you can use yours for good. This is true of eating healthier, finding the motivation to pursue goals, and handling money better. Here are ways you and your partner can be good financial influences on each other.
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Set a grocery budget
If you tend to overspend on date night or order too much delivery when you don’t feel like cooking, shift your mindset and habits around eating. First of all, making food together at home can be fun, and second, it will literally save you hundreds a month compared to ordering in or dining out. But you can still do those things – just with more intention. Set a grocery budget. Maybe it’s $150 for the week for both of you. Now, you can play with that. Find deals. Find sales. Get the generic brand of something. If you are under budget for one week – say you only spend $130 – you can put that extra $20 in a “date night” jar. At the end of the month, that might contain over $100 that you are free to spend on a special night out.
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Share a points credit card
The next many pieces of advice are only right for couples who have already been together for many years and have intertwined their lives – not for a new couple. Consider applying for a credit card with an excellent points system, like one with rotating five percent cashback categories. Don’t each open a card – just one of you should apply, and issue the other a card under that account. That way, you only have to pay one annual fee (if the card has a fee – which many of the good points cards do). You can team up and put both of your expenses on the card, maximizing those high points categories and rack up quite a bit of cashback.
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Agree to resist social pressure
Have a talk about social pressure. Spending habits are usually easy enough to stick to until other people get involved. Like friends inviting you to happy hour or to split a vacation house for “only $400 a person.” Or to split a limo to a wedding together. We want to feel close to our friends, and it can seem like spending the same way they do keeps us close. I won’t lie: being on a very different budget than friends can feel distancing. But you can work around that by having them over for dinners, meeting in the park, and doing more affordable things to make up for the pricey mimosa brunch you sat out. You’ll need to agree as a couple to resist social pressure to overspend.
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Have a shared investment goal
Harness the power of having two incomes and two sets of savings. Perhaps there is an investment that you couldn’t afford individually but you can afford it together. Many millennials think they don’t have enough money to invest – but together, you might. Maybe that’s a rental property you can make passive income off of one day. Maybe it’s just buying into a fund that you need a certain amount of money to buy into. You can get more done with 25K than you can with 12.5K, more with 100K than 50K, and you get the idea. So sit down and see if you can land on an investment that you both believe would be smart. Then, agree to design your finances (budgeting, spending, saving) moving forward, with the goal of putting enough aside for that investment.
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Boost your quoting confidence
When it comes to getting a new job or landing new clients, you can boost one another’s confidence in naming your price. It can be good to speak to one another before quoting a new client or stating a desired salary to a potential employer. The more information you have, the better. Your partner may know someone in the same line of business and the same role that received a much higher salary than you were about to ask for. Also, you might still be building your confidence about knowing and stating your worth. Your partner might be able to help you with that, and vice versa. After a talk with him, you may feel comfortable asking for 75K a year at that new job instead of the 65K you were going to say.
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Learn to love the art of couponing
Agree to look into coupons before making purchases. You might also want to look at the cashback deals offered by your credit card – in some cases, your points go further when used on participating vendors instead of converted into cashback. When you and your partner want to buy something big, like plane tickets or concert tickets, agree to sit down on your respective laptops and do some research. Scrounge the Internet for promo codes and rebates. Get in the habit of never buying the first deal you see. If you find coupon codes you don’t need now but could see yourself using later, pin them so you remember them when the time comes.
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Talk about your financial philosophies
Sit down and talk about what your philosophies and beliefs are around money. Too many couples avoid this topic, assuming they share similar ideas. You may be surprised to find that your partner has some very different feelings than you do about things like saving for retirement or homeownership. It’s possible neither of you even realized you held beliefs about money – you’ve just always lived the way you lived, not thinking about the ideas driving your money habits. The conversation may get awkward and even contentious at times, but it’s better to learn where you’re at sooner rather than later and see if you can get on the same page.
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Talk each other down
Some days, one person will have more willpower than the other. There might be times when, after a bad day at work, your partner wants to treat himself to some expensive purchase to soothe the pain. Research shows spending money can make us feel happy, after all – but it’s only temporary. You know he’ll just regret that tomorrow. Be willing to give him tough love in those moments. Ask that he do the same for you when you’re the one holding the credit card over the laptop. Whoever is the happiest and most stable that day should be the one calling the financial shots. You’ll be glad your partner talked you out of getting a $200 massage when you were upset you didn’t get a callback for a job.
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Learn together
You can take the time to learn about money together. Maybe there is an online class you can take about finances. Perhaps you can meet with a financial advisor and discuss different options for your savings. Maybe you can both read a book on money matters. The more you both know about money – the less you can leave up to opinion and hearsay.
If you both attend the same classes, read the same book, and take in the same knowledge, you’re more likely to get on the same page about things like investing and saving.
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Take precautions together
There are things we can do now that will save us money down the road. Like getting regular teeth cleanings to avoid needing much pricier deep cleanings, crowns, and cavity fillings. Or getting better car insurance now, even if it costs a bit more each month, as it could save you thousands in the event of an accident. How about installing security cameras if your neighborhood sees a lot of theft? Encourage each other to make those small investments now that could pay off big time later. Remind your partner to get his teeth cleaned, get his checkups, etc., and ask that he does the same for you.
Hopefully, these helpful tips can help you and your partner keep the bag secure.
