MAFS: Why Is Erik Always Talking About Ending The Marriage?

Erik and Virginia

Erik’s behavior may seem slight. But it really is problematic. And I don’t know how things would get better with him going forward. He doesn’t know how to communicate or argue. I can’t understand why every single conflict in the relationship ends with him threatening to leave or telling Virginia she can leave.

He picked a whole fight about Virginia’s dog, just to say she could leave. Like, what was the reason of talking trash about her dog? Why would you ever make her feel like she has to choose between you and the dog that’s been an emotional support to her for years? It is controlling. People online are even suggesting that Erik’s behavior might reflect some abusive tendencies on his part.

He’s controlling—wanting to know where Virginia is—but not texting her to inquire, is ridiculous. Erik wants to know her every move: controlling. Makes grand gestures and pretends their relationship is perfect: love bombing.  Then acts like Virginia is the problem: gaslighting.

The fact that he told her he always gets hurt when he’s the one lashing out is troubling. And Virginia feeling like she’s changed as a virtue of being married and is the only one required to make sacrifices is telling.

Paige

Thank God Paige is finally seeing the light in terms of her relationship. It’s really sad that someone like Chris caused her faith to be tested. But what she said about falling in love with the idea of being married so much so that she lost herself was the realest thing she’s said and very introspective. She does need to honor herself—even above her marriage in order to get the most out of her marriage. And she certainly could have walked away more than a few times.

I am happy to hear that Paige is in therapy though. At the very least, Chris taught her about some red flags.

Chris

This dude…it’s literally hard to find a redeeming quality. Even when they were talking about their spouse’s dogs, he outright said he don’t give a f*ck about Bentley. Well that’s telling. Cuz he doesn’t give a f*ck about Paige either. Gross.

He told his mother, they’re getting a divorce and the book was closed whether there was a child or not.

Haley

Haley is right. Jake doesn’t know how to hold a conversation where the focus is not on…him. His house, his obsession with the eighties, his feelings of rejection. When Haley does try to spark conversation, it falls flat quickly. It’s a strange quirk. But also, it’s the reason why he’s been begging and pleading that she tell the truth about her lack of feelings for him.

Jake

I can’t lie. Jake is trying but homeboy also seems to be more checked out than he’s been in the past. Honestly, after the back and forth between him and Haley, I can’t blame him.

Ryan

Ryan feels he’s done an incredible job of being a husband. Really? Either he’s not listening to Clara or he doesn’t understand how much Clara is unhappy in their situation. The lack of sex is really bothering her. He feels like they’ve both made concessions but Clara feels the exact opposite. And when both people don’t see the relationship in the same way, that’s a problem. Not to mention, they don’t seem to be all that connected outside of the bedroom either. What do they talk about that’s of any substance?

Clara

But Clara has to hold some of this weight too. The reason Ryan is a bit disillusioned about the state of their relationship is because she’s not expressing what she’s lacking in the relationship. And ultimately, that doesn’t serve anyone. I do think it would benefit her to take some time and at least try to experience the emotional aspect of sex. But I also think she needs to communicate that in her mind, Ryan is not doing an incredible job of being a husband—even if the sex thing is entirely off the table.

Vincent and Briana

Now, that Vincent and Briana have gotten their minor communication issues out of the way, it’s nice to see how much they enjoy one another’s company. The bike riding scene was adorable. And I love that Vincent, who was never a dog person has acclimated to Cookie so well. It’s sweet and speaks to his commitment to the marriage. Love to see it.