Do You Suffer From Mom Rage?

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Lack of sleep

While hormonal fluctuations stemming from childbirth can result in intense emotions, including anger, there are other factors that can contribute to this condition as well. One of the leading causes is a lack of sleep. It’s no secret that most moms are sleep-deprived. When you are unable to rest properly, you are unable to function at maximum capacity. You’re tired, irritable, and tend to have a shorter fuse, which can result in poor moods and angry outbursts.

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Previous experiences with postpartum depression or anxiety

According to Healthline, moms who have experienced other disorders on the postpartum mood disorder spectrum, such as postpartum depression or anxiety, may be at increased risk of experiencing postpartum rage. A history of other mental illnesses can also increase a woman’s risk of developing postpartum rage.

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Inadequate support

One of the most common triggers of mom rage is simply experiencing a lack of support. Motherhood is nothing like how it is portrayed in formula or diaper commercials. While rewarding, it is also exhausting and intense. Society programs us to think that mothers have superhuman strength, but the reality is that we can’t do it all and we need help.

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Prioritizing everyone else’s needs

Another problematic mindset pushed onto us by society is that moms have to always sacrifice themselves for their families. Many of us subscribe to this ideology to the point where we basically become martyrs and prioritize everyone else’s needs over our own. Most of the time, this is unsustainable and eventually breeds resentment, anger, and in some cases, health issues.

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Unaddressed trauma

The sometimes-crushing weight of motherhood can make unresolved trauma from the past feel unbearable to live with. If one attempts to be 100 percent responsible for the care and emotional wellness of a helpless and highly dependent human being without taking the steps to properly heal themselves, they can begin to feel suffocated by their new responsibilities. This can result in an uncontrollable rage.

Now that we’ve explored some of the triggers, let’s talk about how to cope.

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Therapy

The best and most effective way to determine the root cause of postpartum rage is to connect with a therapist. Not only can they help you to discover your triggers, but they can also equip you with tools that can help you to deal with those intense feelings when they arise so that you are less likely to lash out.

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Self-awareness and transparency

Developing a sense of self-awareness around your rage episodes, understanding what’s setting you off, and then having transparent conversations with loved ones can help. It’s important to be honest enough with yourself so that first, you can admit that your outbursts are abnormal and unhealthy for your family’s emotional wellbeing. From there, you can make a commitment to finding better ways to cope. Journaling about your episodes can help.

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Tangible support from loves ones

People love to say, “I’m here if you need me.” However, an essential component to dealing with mom rage is receiving tangible support from loved ones. Moral support is nice, but what’s really going to lighten the load is loved ones stepping in to physically help on a regular basis.

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Spend time alone

As much as we love our kids, it’s unhealthy to never spend time apart. Moms need alone time to decompress and regroup. In a perfect world, a loved one could keep the kids for a weekend out of the month. However, just having an hour or two to run errands alone while your partner stays home with the kids can help.