Tools And Tips To Keep Teens Safe

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As if parenting teenagers hasn’t always been difficult enough because of the hormone-driven mood swings that happen at this time in one’s life, now there’s all of the added dangers that come with social media and the Internet. One survey found that 84 percent of teens have their own smartphones, while another found that 95 percent at least have access to a smartphone, even if it isn’t their own. Considering how much more adept teens are at navigating technology than most of their parents, it’s easy for a teenager to use your phone, and erase any evidence of what she was doing on there, without you even knowing it.

There are many reasons you likely want your kids to have access to the Internet, 24/7. You want them to be able to get information when they need it, call you, get important emails on the go, look up directions, find the nearest emergency room when necessary, and more. There are a lot of ways a smartphone can save a teen’s life if it comes to it. But, of course, there are many reasons you likely don’t want your kid on there. Like the fact that 32 percent of teens report having been contacted by a stranger online, and that 21 percent of those engaged in the conversation. We spoke with Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor Demetrius Cofield of Black Clinician Network about tools and tips to help keep teens safe.

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Know what’s going on in their world

“Be knowledgeable of current events, issues, and trends that may impact your teen,” advises Cofield. “Drug use is common in teens and they are finding new ways to do them so keep up with what drugs and ways of using them might be popular in your teen’s environment. Parents can find this information through talking to them or finding information on the internet and social media, then talking to their teen about the dangers and risks. The internet will probably be the best tool for this.”

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Which drugs are teens seeking out now?

We took Cofield’s advice and looked into current drug trends among teens. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Administration warns that prescription drug misuse is on the rise among adolescents. This is particularly concerning because it can hinder the healthy development of the young brain. Our minds continue to develop into our twenties, and very important parts develop during the teen years, like the portions that handle impulse control, social conduct, and priority-setting. Stimulants, opioids, and depressants are the most common prescription drugs teens are reaching for.

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GPS and crime-tracking apps

“GPS tracking apps are an option as long as the parents are honest with the teens about it so that it is not seen as a violation of their privacy, which could only lead to more rebellious behaviors,” says Cofield. “There are also apps that can alert you to nearby crimes that both the parent and teen can be sure to have on their phones.”

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Our list of apps

We rounded up a list of apps that help you monitor your kid’s online activities, as well as phone calls and messages, and physical location here. Do heed Cofield’s advice about being honest with your kids surrounding these apps. Notify them that you are using the apps so your teens don’t feel their privacy has been violated.

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Establish your own language

Cofield recommends, “Having safe words, statements or questions that the teen could use to alert their parents they are not okay if they are not able to be honest over the phone or through text. Also, just educating them on the current dangers with sex trafficking and kidnappings to ensure they are mindful of their surroundings and travel in groups when necessary.”

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Direct them to mental health professionals

Cofield says you should make sure your teens “Know the options for mental health care that are available to them.” He adds that parents should, “Make sure that their teen knows that those options are available if they need it.” He encourages parents to speak to mental health providers if they have concerns. “Some good resources for finding these options could be calling their insurance providers if they have them, using online directories like Psychology Today, Therapy for Black Girls, or the upcoming Black Clinician Network Directory, and peer referrals.”

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Discuss and possibly provide birth control

“Even if the parent doesn’t feel like their teen is or will be sexually active, make sure they understand safe sex and have access to condoms,” says Cofield. For teen girls, Cofield recommends “Having the conversation about birth control and possibly starting it when they become sexually active. Be sure that the teen feels safe and comfortable enough to come to the parent for these things as well or understands how to get them on their own.”

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A quick glance at teen pregnancy

As a parent, even considering the possibility that your teen could be having sex may make you so uncomfortable that you avoid the topic entirely. But your denial won’t get you far if you have a pregnant teen in your home. Black girls are twice as likely to become teen moms as white girls. Though these numbers have improved in recent decades (much thanks to Obama’s Teen Pregnancy Prevention Initiative), they are still high. It’s important to know that if you don’t live in an urban or metropolitan area, it can be very difficult for your child to get access to birth control without your help.

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When to step in, or back off

Before turning to any of these tools, Cofield says “Parents should make every effort to know and understand their teens, which should help them to understand what they can and can’t handle. Remember the importance of teenagers’ identity development and need for freedom during these years, but that doesn’t mean parents shouldn’t be more hands-on for certain situations depending on the teen.”

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Sometimes, they have to learn on their own

“[Parents] should also be mindful of enabling their teenager’s unhealthy or troublesome behaviors,” notes Cofield. “Parents may want to always be there to save their kids from trouble and bail them out of situations but when certain behaviors become a habit it might be more beneficial not to bail them out or come to their rescue so they can learn for themselves.”