Common Negotiation Mistakes Women Make
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It seems appropriate that negotiation is called an “art” because, like art, it can feel incredibly subjective sometimes. It’s difficult to know what someone is going to respond to, and the words and tactics that activate the minds of some won’t do much for others. But, negotiation is an art form worth learning. You’ll need it so many times in life, like when you’re buying a car, buying a home, or simply buying a purse at an outdoor market where prices are fluid. You even negotiate at times you don’t know you’re doing it, like when dealing with a customer service representative.
If you’re employed at a company, want to be employed at a company, or have your own business, you’ll find yourself negotiating quite a bit. And you’ll have to get comfortable with it because, otherwise, you’ll get trampled over. People who get what they want aren’t afraid to ruffle feathers during the negotiation process. In fact, they know that people respect them for doing so.
We spoke with two career and business coaches about the top negotiation mistakes they see women make in select critical situations. Ariel Lopez (@ArielLopez_zo) is the Founder and CEO of Knac, a hiring platform that helps companies screen, manage, and give feedback to applicants in their pipeline. Dr. Keita Joy (@TheDrKeitaJoy) is a consultant, speaker, and business coach who works with individuals on maximizing their potential and teaches corporations about diversity and inclusion. Here’s what they told us.
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What should women know about salary negotiations?
Lopez: “Always give a range. Never give a direct number. As soon as you give a number, you basically pigeon hole yourself into that number and you’re cutting yourself off from the opportunity of getting an increase. On average aim for a 10 to 20 percent of a bump on your next move… Let’s say you’re making 65K now. Your goal is to be making 75. The range you want to give is 80 to 85.”
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How do you explain your numbers?
Lopez: “If the recruiter asks where you’re getting your numbers from, say it’s derived by the market. You can also say this is what other companies have offered you in conversations. You want to do that because…you’re saying, ‘It’s other companies that care about the money, and not me. It’s not like I’m the one coming up with these numbers. It’s other people in the market.”
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What about getting a raise or promotion?
Lopez: “Just ask. Most negotiations never happen because people are too scared to ask for the money that they want. Put yourself out there. Put a timeline around it. Have a conversation with HR and your manager beforehand. Set an agenda for the meeting.”
As for putting a little pressure on your manager, Lopez says “Have a business case. This is essentially a list of your accomplishments and everything that you’ve done while you’ve been in your role. Any key accounts you’ve closed. Metrics. That’s your leverage. That’s what you use to negotiate. [Say] ‘I’ve been here x amount of time. I’ve done x,y, and z. And this is why I deserve a promotion or a raise.” Lopez also recommends having a timeline in mind. “Perfect example. We’re coming up on the end of the year. If the goal is to be making more money January first, let them know that on the call.”
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What are some mistakes women make when presenting their value?
Lopez: “I think the biggest mistake is not being vocal about what they bring to the table and not being proactive. Don’t wait for the raise or the promotion to fall in your lap, go out and ask for it. Also, keep a business case that highlights any major accomplishments you’ve made while at work (key accounts, metrics, etc.” One study found that women are less likely to have the opportunity to negotiate their salaries, and one survey conducted by Glass Door found that given the chance, women are less likely to negotiate.
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What insecurities do women face in presenting their value?
Lopez: “Not believing that they’re actually worth the money. So much of negotiation is psychological. You have to be mentally strong, confident, and convincing. Spend time practicing your pitch and learn where your weaknesses lie- also learn how to capitalize on your strengths.”
The Glass Door survey referenced above notes that, fortunately, salary transparency is becoming more of the norm at hiring companies, so female applicants might find that they can see what their peers are making, and use that as leverage in negotiations.
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What do you do if they’re losing interest, or say no?
Lopez: “If you don’t hear the figure you want, propose a new amount or new terms with reasons that justify the ask. If it seems like they’re losing interest, make sure to be direct in your follow up, let them know your timeline, and also that you have interest from other parties. Learning to create FOMO is key.”
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What figures/facts should you have ready to present to potential investors?
Lopez: “Financial Projections, Pitch Deck, Your Sales Pipeline, Contracts/LOI’s (letter of intent), in addition to any stats that support your business.” FOMO, which Lopez brought up, is a concept often discussed by entrepreneurs. One tip for creating it, that’s outlined in this book, is having a third party-verified deadline. This is a calendar-based event, holiday, or another milestone after which, you cannot accept other offers. And because the deadline isn’t created by you – it’s out of your control – it creates a more intense pressure on interested investors.
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What should entrepreneurs not do when dealing with investors?”
Dr. Joy: “As an entrepreneur, I learned the hard way of what not to do to secure funding and now you have the opportunity to learn from me. Do not in all of your excitement and passion send your project proposal unsolicited to investors. Investors are busy and are flooded with emails regularly.” It’s worth noting that around 66 percent of professionals categorize an email as Spam, based on just the subject line alone. One survey found over 60 percent of professionals ignore emails from colleagues who they know, making it even less likely they’ll open a cold email from a stranger.
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Getting through the inbox
Dr. Joy: “Do you want to send an email or be seen? You want to be seen, of course! Success tip? Find a plug. A plug is a person that can directly connect you to the investor, send an initial email on your behalf, or at the very least lead you to someone who can.”
One interesting thread on Quora explores the question of why people are more likely to do business with someone they know. This article dives deeper into the matter, noting social proof is at play and the fact that we’re conditioned from childhood to avoid strangers. Many can be concerned about their own vulnerabilities when they’re unfamiliar with a subject, fearing they’re more at risk for being influenced. Having a trusted source give a backstory in advance can relieve some of those anxieties. So, the plug to which Dr. Joy refers is rather important.
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Look at it from the investor’s perspective
Dr. Joy: “Another great word of advice is to learn about your investor and what matters most to them. How can your initiative add value to their bottom line? Entrepreneurs can become enamored in their idea that they forget it’s not about them but what their product/service can do for others and be able to articulate that clearly in your proposal and email.”
