Source: Kinetic Content/Lifetime / Kinetic Content
The couples are settling into their real lives with one another. But in order to break up the monotony, we watched as they participated in various activities with each other. And in most cases it brought each of them closer together, sometimes in surprising ways. But this episode also unearthed some very tense feelings. Also, the experts, through very pointed questions, got the couple to start thinking and talking about the idea of love and where their spouse may fit into that equation. Let’s dive into all of that.
Amani and Woody
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The Haircut Convo
I thought it was pretty slick and smart of Amani to bring up the hair cutting conversation with Woody one more time to see exactly where his head was at. She told him she was going to be taking her braids out and cutting it all off. He still wasn’t happy about it. Bruh just likes long hair. So whether she discussed her plans with him or not, he still would have objected. He’s entitled to his preferences but it’s Amani’s body. Woody seems like he’s invested in the process and cares about Amani. Still, there are times when his comments raise a couple of eyebrows. And as someone who claims to love his wife, a haircut shouldn’t threaten that.
Love
The experts sent the couple over some activities to do and they had to talk about love and more specifically how they saw love progressing in their relationship. While they’re coloring Woody tells Amani what he’s already told his boys. “I got love for you and I love you.” He kept saying, “I love my wife” as opposed to “I love you.” I thought that was an interesting choice of phrasing but perhaps referring to Amani as such has helped Woody fully commit to this process. Still, a reliance on the title has proven a bit detrimental in other areas.
Title over Time
Unlike her husband, Amani says she’s not in love with Woody right now. Thankfully, she said she feels herself growing in that direction. But she’s not there yet. She opened up and told him that she feels like she is the one stopping herself from getting to that point right now because every time she has been in love, it’s ended badly.
I guess Woody took that to mean that she was somehow punishing him for the mistakes of other people. In the confessional, he said, “I don’t think your husband is going to do any of those things.” Then later told the crew, “It sucks, leave it at that.” But a title means nothing in a relationship. There are husbands all over the world who have caused their wives unspeakable pain. I understand marrying a stranger, there are some timelines you’ll have to let go. But realistically, he and Amani haven’t even known each other for a month yet. It’s okay if she’s not in love right now. Amani has shown Woody that she’s open to the process. I think he can give her some time to relax into this new role. Because there’s nothing wrong with being cautious in the beginning of a relationship.
Amelia and Bennett
Sex!
Just last week, people were wondering with all their chemistry, undeniable attraction and general good vibes, why Amelia and Bennett hadn’t had sex yet. Welp it happened! Quite naturally according to them. Bennett said, “I’m satisfied with our current level of physical intimacy.” And Amelia seemed pleased as well. Most importantly though, it didn’t seem to change the dynamic of their relationship. They’re still comfortable, jovial, and flirty with one another. And that’s what we love about them. When their scenes come up, we can take a deep breath.
Love
As long as they don’t break up, I don’t think any of us will be surprised by the progression of Bennett and Amelia’s relationship. So it wasn’t shocking to hear Bennett say that he loves Amelia. He said he’s not in love with her yet but he’s getting closer. And I’m with that. It makes sense.
Olivia and Brett
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While I always feel like I can breathe with Amelia and Bennett, Brett and Olivia make me want to hold my breath. I never know how he’ll receive what she says, internalize it as a personal attack and lash out in some mean way. Thankfully, that didn’t happen during this episode. This week Brett slipped back into humor as a way to avoid what was supposed to be a serious conversation about love.
Humor is very important in a relationship and so is timing and knowing when to take things seriously. Olivia already knows you’re “funny” and like to joke. She doesn’t know your thoughts on love. Once those have been established, then we can get back to ki-ki-ing.
The Swamp
To Brett’s credit this week, I was happy to see that he took on the Swap Tour with a positive attitude. For a moment, I thought he might think it was corny and wouldn’t engage with Olivia. But he did and that was great to see. I also peeped a little physical affection between the two of them while they were out and about. So we’ll see what happens. Hopefully, this swap tour showed him that you don’t have to spend an exorbitant amount of money in order to go out and live life with your wife.
Christina and Henry
ADD Medication
After their argument, where Henry decided it was best that he just leave, Christina left and went to be with her friends. She came back with a confession. She told Henry that for the past month and some change, the entire duration of their relationship, she had been off of her ADD medication. As a result, she said she’s been more irritated, tired and impatient than she would have normally been. We’ve all seen it. And they’ve been the biggest issues Henry has had with her in their relationship. Christina shared her being off her meds has like hindered the connection between herself and Henry because she’s had to focus on regulating and maintaining her own moods instead of focusing on building a relationship.
Henry’s reaction
Unlike some other people we know, Henry handled the disclosure of Christina’s mental illness with quite a bit of compassion both in her face and later in the confessional. He told her that taking medicine was nothing to be ashamed of, despite her mother’s opinion. And in the confessional, he share that it was a relief that she shared this with him. And it must have been because this was the first real conversation we’ve seen them have since they got married.
Golf and Salsa
After last week, I think we could all see that Henry had been playing it a little too safe. He wasn’t taking any initiative in progressing his marriage to Christina and she was doing a lot of the heavy-lifting in terms of conversation, asking questions, and even activities for the both of them–mostly on their honeymoon. So it was really nice to see Henry step up and take her golfing and salsa dancing. Golf was his comfort zone so he got to shine and be the confident expert. In salsa, he was more of a novice, but he still caught on quick. It was an opportunity for he and Christina to learn something together and an opportunity for them to engage in some level of physical intimacy.
Are Christina and Henry turning a corner?
The verdict is certainly still out on these two. They’re definitely the furthest behind and there is a lot more show left. But last night was the first time I even considered the possibility that they might decide to stay together on decision day. Time will tell.
Miles and Karen
Miles the Peacemaker
I know I may be in the minority here but I felt that the conversation about Miles attempting to be the peacemaker during his parents’ divorce was not only incredibly enlightening, it was the reason Karen has been a little hesitant about Miles’ signs of affection. She said that she was able to sense that he is trying to please her. And given the fact that they don’t know one another all that well, she wonders if this is something he’s doing as an extension of his personality or something he’s doing that he will eventually resent. And she’s right to ask that question. Because the reality is, it’s likely a little bit of both. If Miles keeps giving and never asking for what he needs in return, he will burn out. He will resent Karen and that is a hard hurdle to overcome in a marriage. I don’t know what Miles is doing off camera and whether or not it’s too much too soon. But I hear Karen about the acts of service being ones that truly reflect someone’s love for you versus something they feel they have to do to impress or keep you. It’s important that all parties in a marriage understand their worth and contributions outside of the actions they perform for their partner. And they haven’t had the time to establish that with one another just yet. So she’s keeping her eyes peeled. I get it.
Emotional Intelligence and Masculinity
Miles’ emotional intelligence is not just a front for the cameras. He was able to see right through the fact that Karen was used to a different type of dude. And that his being so emotionally available might be jarring for her because she’s never been with a man like that. So it was right that he hit her with the question. Can emotional intelligence and masculinity mesh? It’s really something she needs to sit with. Because almost every time emotions come up in conversation, Karen is talking about wanting a masculine man. In reality, what she’s likely used to is toxic masculinity. And that’s sad.
Sex with My Wife
Miles was a bit out of line for the “sex with my wife” on the calendar. Obviously, based on the way the conversation was going Karen was not comfortable just yet. And while I’m sure he was joking, she doesn’t know him well enough for that to fly just yet. She said it made her feel unsafe. And I hope when she shares that with him next week, he respects that it was too much, too soon. To that point though, Karen absolutely has a problem talking about intimacy. I don’t know if it was because of the abruptness of the conversation or the cameras but having a conversation about what you require physically, sexually doesn’t have to be something that waits until y’all are actually having sex. That’s how a lot of people set themselves up for failure. Given that Miles has behaved pretty maturely up until this point, I think he’ll be able to see the error in his ways. And hopefully Karen will be able to adjust a little bit as well.
