How To Be A Good Sister-In-Law
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In-law relationships can be tricky. It’s hard to build family-like bonds with complete strangers. While dealing with difficult in-laws is often discussed, we rarely address what being a good in-law actually looks like. Though some may feel like the rules of being a good in-law look a lot like being a good friend or a good sibling, it’s actually a bit more complex. Continue reading for ten tips on how to be a better sister-in-law.
Be supportive
While showing support is not a requirement, so to speak, a little consideration and a few kind gestures can go a long way when it comes to in-law relationships. This will obviously look different from family to family, but gestures as simple as “Happy Birthday” texts and attending functions with a positive attitude can go a long way.
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Don’t offer unsolicited advice
While you may know a better way, it can be a good idea to hold your tongue and keep your advice to yourself unless asked. Unsolicited advice is annoying, regardless of the source. However, it can be extra irritating when it comes from a know it all sister-in-law.
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Respect boundaries
Relationships thrive when boundaries are respected. The fact that she married into your family does not grant you or anyone else the right to be disrespectful or violate her privacy. Call before showing up. Don’t ask invasive questions. Don’t criticize her parenting. Don’t demean or belittle. When in doubt, ask permission.
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Mind your business
One almost guaranteed way to keep your relationship with your in-laws on a positive note is to keep your nose out of their business. She does not have to answer to you just because she married your sibling or your spouse’s sibling.
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Don’t choose sides
Married people will experience their share of rough patches. Should you ever witness an exchange or you hear about conflict after the fact, try to remain neutral and resist the urge to choose sides. Obviously, your loyalty lies with your sibling, but no one needs you to reiterate that.
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Don’t be overly opinionated
In addition to not offering unsolicited advice, it’s also helpful not to be overly opinionated when it comes to matters than concern your in-laws. Sure, you have your way of doing things; however, it doesn’t mean that it’s the right or the only way. Give people the space to live their lives the way they see fit.
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Be inclusive
It can be hard being the new person to marry into a family, so be inclusive whenever possible. If you’re at a family function and you see her sitting alone or only speaking to her spouse, go over and start a conversation. If the women in the family are getting together, extend the invitation. Your small acts of kindness won’t be forgotten.
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Put yourself in your in-law’s shoes
Empathy is an important element in any healthy relationship. Try to see things her way and definitely take her feelings into consideration. Think about how your words could be interpreted before you speak. Further, if she tells you that something offended her, try to hear her out — even if you know that you didn’t mean it that way.
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Be considerate
Self-awareness and consideration can take you pretty far when it comes to in-law relationships. If you’re making a decision for the entire group, for example during a vacation or family function, think about how your decision will affect her as well. Further, be mindful of when you are making requests that impose on her time or personal space.
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Resist the urge to be competitive
Unnecessary competition kills way too many relationships. Your sister-in-law is not your competition. There’s no need to compare or compete with her. Embrace her as a part of your family because that’s exactly what she is.
