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Losing a significant amount of weight will change your life. I don’t mean just dropping a few vacation pounds or getting rid of some leftover baby weight. I’m talking about leaving the category of medically obese to the category of fit. Or slender. Or having a rocking bod. That sort of weight loss actually affects the way you experience nearly every element of life from your friendships to your career to your sex life to your inner monologue. We like to think that the way we feel about ourselves isn’t affected by the way that others treat us. But, that just can’t be entirely true. It should be mostly true, if we do the personal work. But it’s only natural that the way other humans treat us has some impact on our own feelings about ourselves – on our sense of identity. Hopefully most of us can bounce back from a rare bad experience, like having someone reject us or ignore us. When it’s rare, yes. But when someone is severely overweight, they can have those experiences so often that they influence how they feel about themselves. Can you blame them? So when you lose a lot of weight, people treat you differently, and suddenly, you start to think differently. Here are “weird” thoughts you may have after major weight loss that are surprisingly common.
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What if it comes back for no reason?
It’s a pretty normal fear: you’ll wake up one day, and the weight will just be back. You may even have nightmares in which this occurs. Any time we get anything we’ve wanted for a long time and care about deeply – whether it’s a dream job, a dream partner, or your dream body – it’s normal to have those fears that it will just go away one day. But it won’t. You didn’t achieve this in one day and you won’t lose it in one, either.
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I should keep old clothes, just in case
You may be hoarding your old clothes, as a part of that fear that all of the weight will come back out of nowhere. But that’s taking up space in your closet that you should give over to clothes in your new size. Furthermore, you could donate those clothes to somebody else who needs them. There may be times you put on a little weight again, but you won’t get back to that old weight.
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Men who hit on me now are shallow
There can be this odd transition where you go from wanting attention from certain people, to finally getting it, and now resenting those very people for only liking you once you’re svelte. Try not to be too judgmental. Water seeks its own level. Those who do the work of staying in shape want to be with others who do the same work. They want to be with people who love themselves enough to care for their bodies. Remember your body isn’t just about physicality: it’s all tied into an emotional and mental wellness issue, too.
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What do people say about overweight people?
You’ll suddenly realize that some people who are not overweight will say things about those who are. It isn’t nice. But it does happen. And you’ll realize that, now that you’re in good shape, you may become privy to those conversations. You’re a “safe” person for fit people to make those comments to. But you’ll also realize, you don’t want to hear it.
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Do I even know what I look like?
It’s common to have some body dysmorphia after major weight loss. You realize now that, when you were overweight, you had no idea what you looked like. You’ll look at photos from that time, and what you see now is not what you saw in the mirror then. So then you’ll panic and wonder if what you see in the mirror now is even real.
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These clothing sizes are messed up
It can be difficult to believe that you really are this new size. You’ll always have some excuse why it isn’t true. You’ll tell yourself that the sizes just run big at this store. Okay, at this store, too. No, honey – you really are that new, smaller size now! And no, nobody cut out the real tag and sewed in a new one to make you feel good. This was all your hard work.
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All time was a waste until now
When you realize how much better you feel now, and how much more in touch you are with some of the experiences you were blocking out before, you can worry that all of your life, until now, was a waste of time. But that is never true. However strong and happy you are now is a direct result of the path you’ve traveled. Even the tough parts.
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Should I take down old photos?
You can want to edit your social media profiles, erasing any proof that you were ever overweight. But then you’ll worry that people will notice that, and make fun of you for it. None of that really matters. The important part is what you think and feel. And the truth is that, even if you didn’t have the body you wanted back then, you probably still want to enjoy the memories those photos bring.
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My friends should’ve said something
You might get angry with your friends. For all of those years, you were that big, and they said nothing? Did they not care about you? Did they want you to stay that way? No. Put yourselves in their shoes for a moment. They probably knew – as you also know – that your weight loss was tied to a much larger issue than just eating differently. There were complicated psychological components. They didn’t know how to address those.
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Now I’ll be rich!
You’ll quickly realize that you spend so much less when you are in better shape. The relationship between frugality and being fit is a very close one. So you may think, for a second, that you’ll be super rich all of a sudden! And then you may start spending more because of it. Oops.
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I’ll forget how I did it
You might fear that you’ll wake up one day and not remember how you got in shape and, as a result, not know how to stay in shape. That won’t happen. It’s in your bones now. You’ve trained your mind and body. You crave different foods now, and different amounts. You enjoy exercise now. You’ve changed things, on a deep level.
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Damn I’m horny
Your sex drive may increase. Before, you may have felt exhausted, insecure, and physically sick a lot, none of which is good for one’s libido. Now that’s all gone, you’re feeling yourself, and you may realize you want to have tons of sex. Which could be great for your partner if you have one.
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I don’t want to see that friend
You may feel a bit guilty when you no longer want to see certain friends who you know are bad influences. You have those friends who were your food friends. You’d binge eat together. You’d make food the activity. And you know they may resent you for having lost weight. It’s okay to take your distance from those friends. You’re not a bad person for caring for yourself.
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Is it bad to love being this hot?
Nah, it’s not. It’s okay if you’re a little vain these days. Maybe you keep checking yourself out. Maybe you love taking selfies. Hey, you earned this! And it’s not all about how you look. You know that getting to this place involved doing deep personal work on an emotional level. You’re just glowing in it all.
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Why is that person so overweight?
You can quickly become the one judging others, asking, “Why is that person so overweight?” or thinking, “That person seriously needs to lose weight.” Then you can get angry with yourself, wondering how you could so quickly forget how it felt to be that person. It’s a complicated mental journey. Try not to be too hard on yourself.
