How To Tell When Someone Is Truly Sorry
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“Sorry” may very well be one of the most abused words in the English language. As a result, it can be difficult to tell when a person is truly remorseful for their actions, especially when emotions are running high. Here are ten signs that a person is sincerely apologetic:
They apologize
First and foremost, people who are sorry for their actions will offer an apology. Sincere apologies generally come quickly and without prompting or pressure. They are not offered to avoid consequences. They are the result of someone truly recognizing the error of their ways and wanting to make amends.
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They can articulate what they did wrong
People who are truly apologetic never just say “I’m sorry” without explaining what they’re actually sorry for. They can accurately articulate what they did wrong and why their actions were hurtful. They don’t put the blame on the offended by saying things like “I’m sorry you misunderstood.”
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They take accountability for their actions
In addition to fully articulating the wrong they have done and the impact of their actions, people who are genuinely sorry take full accountability for their actions. They don’t tell you that you misinterpreted their words or actions. They don’t blame their actions on something that you did. They’re just sorry. Period.
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They change their behavior
It’s been said that the best apology is changed behavior and that’s a fact. People who are truly remorseful for their ways let their actions do most of the talking. While the process may be gradual for some, the effort is always apparent. They make a conscious effort to do better whether you’re watching or not.
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They don’t try to rush you into forgiving them
A tell-tale sign that an apology is insincere is when the offender tries to rush the process of forgiveness. Repeatedly begging for forgiveness, getting irritated and or having strong emotional reactions when the apology is not immediately accepted, and badgering the offended party are all red flag behaviors that should be noted.
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They give you the space to be upset
Some people are incapable of dealing with the consequences of their actions. As a result, they struggle immensely when people are upset with them. Instead of giving their loved ones space and time to process their feelings, they tend to smother, harass, or even insult the offended party because their egos render them incapable of dealing with the thought of someone being angry with them.
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They will try to fix it
Some people will outwardly apologize for their transgressions while thinking to themselves that the offended party should “just get over it.” Usually, this flippant attitude will manifest through actions (or lack thereof) and body language. If possible, people who are truly remorseful will make an attempt to right their wrongs.
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Their body language will show remorse
People who are truly sorry will demonstrate remorse through body language, but this may not look like what you expect it to. According to research, people who are fabricating remorse are more likely to display “a greater range of emotional expressions” while a person who is more sincere may make eye contact and look and listen for signs that their words are being received and understood by the offended party.
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Source: JGI/Jamie Grill / Getty
They’re not looking to get something in exchange for the apology
People who are sincerely apologetic aren’t looking to gain anything by apologizing. If their actions have resulted in some sort of consequence, they apologize anyway because it’s the right thing to do. Those who follow up their apology with a request for a favor or an excusal typically aren’t all that sincere.
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Source: PeopleImages / Getty
They show empathy for the pain inflicted
Sincerely apologetic people show empathy for the pain they have caused. They take the time to understand how their actions were hurtful and respond accordingly. They don’t accuse the offended party of being dramatic or overreacting and they definitely don’t try to police how others respond to pain.
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