How Not To Ruin Your Friendships During Periods Of Sadness Or Difficulty
How Not To Ruin Your Friendships During Periods Of Difficulty
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Life is a series of peak and valley moments and when we find ourselves having one of those inevitable valley experiences, it’s important to have the support of friends and loved ones to help us get through. At the same time, it is important not to damage those relationships or push those important people away during those periods of difficulty.
Be honest about what you’re going through
There is no way that your friends will be able to be there for you or support you in a manner that is helpful if you’re not transparent about what you’re going through. Be honest about your circumstances and how they can help you during this tough time.
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Don’t use your friends as punching bags
When we’re upset, it’s easy to release our frustrations on the people who are closest to us. However, this is unfair to your friends and it’s a sure way to damage a relationship. If you realize that you’re incapable of being kind at any particular moment, excuse yourself from that setting.
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Connect with a therapist
We all experience sadness from time to time, but it’s also possible that what you’re going through is something deeper. If you’re unsure about exactly why you’ve been feeling down, seeking the help of a therapist can help you to sort through your feelings and help you to pinpoint the source of your sadness.
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Be self-aware of how you interact when frustrated
Are you more sensitive than usual when you’re dealing with frustrations in certain areas of your life? Are you more easily offended or more prone to snap or lash out at others? Being cognizant of how you deal with pressure and aggravation can help you to be more aware when interacting with friends.
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If you’re feeling resentful, be honest with yourself
When life isn’t going your way, it’s easy to grow resentful of the people around you, especially when their life appears to be picture-perfect. Being honest with yourself about how you’re feeling is the first step to dealing with those feelings in a constructive way. It’s also less likely that you’ll start behaving in a passive-aggressive manner towards your friends.
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Check yourself when you need to
Do you find that you’re getting upset with people more often than usual over things that you would normally consider petty? There’s a chance that you’re just redirecting your anger. It’s okay to acknowledge that and apologize to the people you need to apologize to. People who love you and know what you’re going through will understand.
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Don’t expect people to stop living because you’re struggling right now
Not to sound cliche, but life goes on and even though they love you, your friends have to continue living theirs despite the fact that you’re having a valley moment. They may earn promotions while you’re struggling with unemployment or get engaged while you’re going through a divorce and while the news may sting, it’s unreasonable to be upset with them as a result.
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Tame your tongue
Are you more likely to make slick and unkind remarks when you’re experiencing hardship or frustration? If so, it may be a good idea to censor yourself a bit during those times. Once said, there are some things you can never take back and hard times is not an excuse to be mean and nasty to the people you care about.
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Realize that your friends have things they’re going through as well
Although it may feel as though things are falling apart around you, remember that life happens simultaneously and that your friends may have personal struggles that they’re dealing with as well. It’s good to vent and ask for advice, but don’t forget to listen and ask your friends how they’re doing as well.
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Continue to show up for your friends in spite of what you’re going through
Even though you’re experiencing difficulty, whenever possible, it’s good to show up for your friends to celebrate their wins and be there for them during their challenging moments just as they have done for you. True friends don’t expect you to perform or pull off grand gestures to prove your friendship. Your presence is truly enough.
