10 Things That Happen After You File For Divorce

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Everyone’s divorce journey is different. However, making the decision to rip off the band-aid and file for divorce will trigger a series of similar legal, social, and emotional events — regardless of who you are or why you’re ending your marriage. For many, the hardest part about separating is simply making the decision to terminate the union, but managing expectations for what happens after is key to standing firm in your choice and maintaining as much peace as possible. Here are a few things to expect after taking the step and sharing the news with your close circle.

People will tell you what they really thought of your spouse

People who reserved judgment in an effort to spare your feelings will feel more comfortable telling you how they really feel about your spouse when they learn that you’ve decided to end the marriage.

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There will be some waiting involved

Most states require petitioners to wait a designated period of time after filing for divorce. In some states, it’s 28 days and other states, longer. This gives the defendant time to contest the divorce.

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You and your spouse will be granted mutual restraining orders

In some states, entering a divorce petition will automatically trigger a mutual restraining order in which both parties are barred from selling or transferring assets, changing insurance coverage, incurring additional debt, or relocating outside of the county or state lines with children.

Sad African American girl listening to her parents arguing.

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You can request a temporary custody hearing

Until a more permanent arrangement is agreed upon, either spouse is able to request a temporary custody hearing after a divorce petition is filed. If you didn’t already have a conversation with your children about the divorce before filing, make sure you talk to them before a potential custody battle brews.

Lots of hurtful things were said between them

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You’ll feel a mixture of regret and relief

Deciding to pull the plug on a relationship that is unhealthy can bring feelings of immense relief, but it can also trigger feelings of regret. You’ll play the “what if?” game for a while, wondering whether or not you did everything you could to save the marriage.

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You’ll need to figure out living arrangements

Not all couples move out of their marital home the second one party files for divorce, but a decision will have to be made about living arrangements. That not only means where you sleep, but what the timeline is for one or both of you to find somewhere new to reside.

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Some of your relationships will look different

If you’ve formed close relationships with people you’ve met through your partner, there is a good chance that those relationships will look a bit different after they learn that you are divorcing. You may even find yourself unfriended or blocked on social media, not to mention cut out of real-life social gatherings.

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Some people will try to talk you out of it

Well-meaning people will attempt to talk you out of your decision. They’ll likely oversimplify your reason for leaving and say things like, “No relationship is perfect.” If you’re on the fence, you may want to hear them out, bit know that there’s also nothing wrong with politely declining their unsolicited two cents.

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Your finances will change

Whether for better or worse, it’s likely that your finances will change somewhat after you decide to file for divorce. For some, the change will be immediate. For others, it will be delayed. Sometimes, it can be a shock to the system to go from splitting expenses with a partner to flying solo. Other times, it can be refreshing when you realize how much you’re able to downsize.

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You’ll be expected to do some explaining

When you share with close friends and relatives that you’ve decided to end your marriage, the first question many will ask is “Why?” It’s completely up to you how much information you choose to disclose, but some people will definitely want to know why. Know that you don’t owe anyone outside of your marriage an explanation.