Lie, Deny, Flip The Script And 7 Other Ways Cheaters Try To Gaslight - Page 7

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Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which one party causes another to question their perception and reality in an attempt to acquire more power. Gaslighting is considered a form of abuse can take place in many different relationships, but it is most common in romantic relationships. Cheaters, in particular, gaslight their partners in order to evade taking responsibility for their actions or to continue the affair.

“In cases of romantic and sexual infidelity, almost every betrayed partner experiences gaslighting to some degree,” Dr. Robert Weiss explains in an essay for Psych Central. “They sense that something is wrong in the relationship, they confront their significant other, and then the cheater ‘flips the script,’ adamantly denying infidelity and asserting that the betrayed partner’s discomfort is based not in fact, but in paranoia and unfounded fear.”

In other words, if you’ve ever been cheated on, it’s likely that your partner was gaslighting you as well. Here are 10 ways cheaters gaslight.

Call you jealous

A cheater’s first line of defense is to make you believe that you’re the problem instead of their refusal to be faithful. When confronted about their behavior, they will often try to make you feel like you’re crazed lover who is trying to control them.

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Tell you you’re insecure

Cheaters prosper when they can alter the way that you see yourself and cause you to question your perception of reality. One way that they do this is to convince you that you’re insecure and unstable when you confront them with reasonable concerns.

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They project their actions onto you

Some are able to keep their infidelity beneath the radar for longer periods of time by projecting their disloyalty into their partner. This will often look like the unfaithful party accusing the faithful partner of cheating on a consistent basis. After awhile, the faithful partner is spending so much time trying to prove their loyalty that they don’t even realize that they’re the one being betrayed.

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They flip the script

While snooping is breech of trust, cheating is obviously a much larger one. Still, a cheater will do everything they can to get out of the hot seat when they’ve been caught red handed — including showing anger towards their partner for snooping in the first place.

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Call your sanity into question

Cheaters who gaslight will always cause you to question your sanity — whether directly or indirectly. When confronted, they will not hesitate imply that you’re becoming unhinged. They will have you questioning things you’ve seen and heard with your own two eyes and ears and have you wondering if you’ve overreacted.

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They continue to lie even when they’re obviously caught

Some people will never accept defeat. Denial is their go-to strategy — even when it no longer makes sense. You can witness the betrayal yourself, confront them with piles of evidence and they will never admit their wrongdoing.

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They deny saying things they previously told you

The goal of gaslighting is to cause the victim to question their perception of reality. This includes denying having said things that you know for a fact they said. In many cases, this occurs when the previous disclosure doesn’t serve their current agenda.

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They throw tantrums when challenged

To discourage you from challenging them regarding their infidelity, some cheaters will have emotional outbursts when confronted. Their response may be so wild you don’t even want to continue the conversation and you never get to the root of the issue.