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Going to the gym is out of the question right now and, for some, this is a huge deal. The gym doesn’t only provide high-end equipment that can give you a quality workout, but it’s also a community. You have your gym buddies there. It offers some time to yourself—away from work and away from home—where nobody can ask anything of you. It also offers some motivation. If you pay for the membership, you feel like you should make the most of it. For many, having that gym membership was the only thing stopping them from becoming total couch potatoes.
Now, the gym is off limits. Many people can just resort to the outdoors. They can hike and jog and bike ride. But, not everyone feels safe doing that. Those living in big cities probably don’t. Runyon Canyon, a popular hiking spot in Los Angeles, is more crowded than a nightclub right now. Actually, it just had to shut down. It’s not like people in New York can go for a power walk in those streets. Not everyone has the luxury of access to the outdoors in a safe way. That can leave them stuck having to work out indoors. Sure, you may have your treadmill or your jump rope. Perhaps you have an electric bike. But that can get repetitive, right?
The world is crazy right now, so maybe we can all be a little crazy and get weird with our workouts. It’s not like you’ll have many chances again to do the things you’re doing now in quarantine. And I think that if you have to do the sometimes sh*tty task of working out, it should at least be fun and dynamic. Here are weird and funny ways to burn calories inside.
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Lift your canned foods
Don’t have weights at home? No problem. Just use your canned foods as weights. You probably have plenty of those, right? Or, if you want to step your game up, you can use some of those giant jugs of water you’ve stocked up on. Those should provide some good resistance.
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Create a zombie obstacle course
Play zombie apocalypse with your partner. He can be the zombie. You can be the survivor. Set up an obstacle course around your home, stacking furniture and boxes. Have your partner move at “zombie speed” chasing you while you have to jump over and crawl under each item.
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Speed-wipe every surface
Make a workout out of disinfecting your home. Moving a Clorox wipe or damp paper towel back and forth, quickly, over every surface of your home will give your arms quite a workout. See if you can wipe down every surface of the house in, say, 30 minutes. You’ll build up a sweat.
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Air dry after a shower
Instead of using your towel after a shower, stand over a bath mat, and shake, shake, shake—the way a dog does after getting out of a pool—to get the water droplets off. If you have a carpeted home, you can also just jog around naked to get the water off.
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Chase your kids
If you have children, I’m sure they’d love it if you played with them. Crawling is a great workout. If you have knee and shoulder pads, put those on to protect yourself. And then “chase” your kids while crawling. They’ll scream with laughter and you’ll feel the burn.
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Order a trampoline
Jumping on a trampoline is a great way to get in a workout. It’s also just a lot of fun. It’s hard to take yourself too seriously when you’re bouncing on a trampoline. It’s hard not to laugh and smile. You’ll feel like a kid again, which we all sort of need right now.
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Play Wii tennis
Some Wii games, like tennis, will really have you moving around. While some of their other games like bowling or golf might move too slowly to help you work up a sweat, tennis can really get you going, since you’ll be lunging and diving to hit the ball.
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Dress a punching bag
I’m sure we all have some aggression to get out right now. Who doesn’t? I’m mad about a lot of things, like our government’s incompetence in handling this pandemic. And greedy individuals taking all the toilet paper! This could be a good time to get a punching bag. Go ahead and tape a photo of someone you’re mad at on there—it will help you punch harder.
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Dance
Have a dance party with yourself. Or over Zoom with friends. Or with your partner. Or with your kids. Dancing burns a lot of calories and it has a special effect on our bodies that leaves us feeling happy. It also gives you a chance to listen to uplifting music.
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Do your real stairs
If you have stairs at home, or around your property, use them. Run up and down them. Do lunges on them, skipping a step on each one. Stairs provide an excellent workout. You can combine it with a chore, too. Maybe an upstairs room needs to be cleaned out. Bring down items, one by one.
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Use your ladder, horizontally
If you have a ladder on your property, you can lay it flat on the ground in your backyard or inside a room if you have one big enough. Jog through it, stepping between each rung. That’s basically what physical education teachers and drill sergeants would have you do.
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Play keep-away with a pet
If your pet loves a game of keep-away, then play it! Your pet is feeling the weird vibes in the air, too, and would probably love your attention. Move around, keeping your dog from grabbing her favorite toy from your hand. And once she gets it, chase her and get it back.
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Laugh
Laughter provides tons of health benefits, including an abs workout! You just have to laugh really, really hard. But have you noticed that when you do so, your stomach starts to hurt, and you feel…tired? That’s because you’re burning calories and working muscles.
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Play active charades
Play charades with your quarantine buddies or on FaceTime with friends. But there is one rule: the act outs must be large. When deciding how to show a clue, people must go for larger-than-life clues that cause them to move around a lot. No easy clues.
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Garden
Many of us are looking for ways to be more self-sufficient, as we worry about the stores running out of supplies. So this could be a good time to get into gardening if you have the land for it. You’d be surprised how tired you get squatting and crawling around over your plots of dirt.
