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We all know about some of the obvious ways people pursue goals and stay motivated. Reading memoirs of icons. Reciting mantras. Getting up early. Always learning. Seeking a mentor. Things like that. When you watch someone successful, you probably spot those moments when she’s consciously doing one of the things that help her succeed. But there are a lot of hidden moments and habits for ambitious and successful individuals. If it seems like there is always some element of mystery around how someone does what she does, that’s probably not an accident.
It’s not that successful individuals don’t want anyone else to succeed. That’s not why they keep some of their behaviors to themselves. There are a lot of reasons some of these habits are more concealed. In some cases, it’s just because they’re quirky. For example, my highly-organized, ambitious, dedicated partner who impresses me every day has the conversations he’s going to have with a colleague, out loud with himself first, just to hear how they sound. He doesn’t know I know this, but I’ve overheard it (and it’s so cute). I can see how it would help him. I can also see how he wouldn’t necessarily want everyone to know he does that (whoops? Sorry babe!)
In other cases, the habits of successful individuals remain private because they simply don’t really realize they do them. If you ask them how they reach their goals, they’ll tell you, and totally neglect to mention certain habits because they don’t consciously recognize those as goal-reaching habits. Those are just a part of their DNA now. But some of my favorite success paragons in my life have been smart enough to realize some of these more discreet habits and shared them with me. Here are the hidden habits of those who reach their goals.
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They don’t tell everyone about them
There’s no need to tell everybody about your goals. You don’t necessarily want everyone else’s input. You don’t need everyone to chime in and tell you what they think you need to do to succeed. Nor do you need them telling you how unlikely it is you will succeed, or how many other people are trying to do just what you’re doing. It’s okay to keep your goals private—sacred.
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They don’t even share the scheduling
Many successful individuals don’t even share the scheduling logistics of their dream chasing. When invited to do something social on a weekend, they don’t say, “I can’t because I promised myself I’d stay home and come up with five new business ideas.” Instead they just say, “I can’t.” They don’t need others pressuring them, saying, “Aw, come on, you should have fun on a Saturday!”
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They avoid the ambition-less
This might be something that ambitious individuals do, intentionally and consciously, keep private. And it’s understandable, because it can feel judgmental. But many ambitious individuals distance themselves from the ambition-less. They find something lethargic and draining about their energy and their words. They don’t want that around them.
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They set a hundred reminders
Look at the G-calendar, regular calendar, walls, desk, or phone alarm of a successful person and you will find so many reminders. There will be reminders three days in a row, leading up to a deadline. There will be sticky notes everywhere. There will be several alarms set for something important. Successful people don’t rely on their own memory to remember to do something. They wouldn’t possibly take that risk.
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They keep a whiteboard
You may find a whiteboard, chalkboard, or other massive organizational center in the home of a successful, constantly evolving individual. In addition to all of those calendar reminders and post-it notes, this large surface where you see some of those bigger goals written in big, bright letters can be a great way to keep those upper-level goals on the forefront of your mind.
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They dismiss low-level goals
Those who really want to reach their bigger goals dismiss the little goals. So, they constantly assess and reassess which activities they are currently doing that are not serving their upper-level goals. They look at the steps they’re taking—their efforts—reflect, and decide what’s actually not helping. Then they eliminate that, to use that time and effort on something else.
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They make no excuses
They don’t only do something if they got a good night’s rest. Or if they don’t have a headache. Or if they feel like it. Or if they’re in a good mood. Or if nothing else comes up. They participate in their regular and scheduled routine of goal pursuing, no matter the circumstances.
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They identify a role model(s)
While you may already understand the benefit of networking and having a mentor who actively participates in your career, you may not know about all of the secret role models successful people identify. Many successful individuals could name, if you ask them, one (or a few) impressive people who they just observe. There is someone for whom they’ve set Google alerts—someone’s career they’re following. They just find this person inspiring, and want to see if there are any tips to pick up there.
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They conserve energy
Ambitious individuals know that energy and time are finite, so they are very careful with how they spend these. They are particularly selective about how they spend their free time. Before saying yes to something social, they ask themselves if they perhaps, instead, need to take that night to themselves. Or they ask who else will be there, in case a particular person who exhausts them will be present—then they won’t go.
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They always do what they say they will
This is important to ambitious individuals. It doesn’t just pertain to doing those upper-level, goal-pursuing activities. It also pertains do driving a friend to the airport, because you said you would. Or being at your friend’s play, because you said you would. Or helping a friend move, because you said you would. Successful people tend to make a policy of keeping their word.
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They tackle what seems scariest
I try to live by this, because several people I admire do it. And that’s this: the second I realize something seems particularly intimidating to me—like it would push me out of my comfort zone—is the second I realize I must do it. It’s good to make a habit of charging head first into the things that intimidate us because, sometimes, we won’t have a choice. So it’s good to get used to it.
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They always seek the next level challenge
Ambitious individuals never feel that they are done. You may find that, after what others would perceive as a huge victory, the victor appears somber. They just know that it’s onto the next thing for them. Accomplishing something doesn’t mean it’s time to stop working; it means it’s time to turn up the difficulty level.
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They don’t talk badly of others
Talking badly of others is bad for those who do it in many ways. On a simple level, the other person may find out, so that’s one person you can now never rely on for help. On a more complex level, we usually do this when we actually feel insecure and jealous, and gossiping about others, though in the moment feels good, only really feeds into our subconscious insecurities. If we gossip, we tell our mind, “This person is a threat.”
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They don’t listen to gossip about others
Successful people don’t listen to others who gossip, either. They try, in general, to stay away from individuals who are negative and critical. If a peer earns something great, and another peer starts stating all the reasons the former didn’t deserve it, a successful person will say, “Let’s not talk about them like that.” Or just walk away.
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They prioritize their health
You can’t get much done if you have health problems. You can’t accomplish much if you’re tired. So successful people make their health a priority. They aren’t just into fitness and health for their appearance—they need to feel energized and healthy so that nothing stands in the way of their goals.
