9 of 15

the woman hater

Source: Marco VDM / Getty

We all like to think that we’d never wind up on a first date with a man who hates women, but women haters often first masquerade as big fans of women. They’ll be incredibly charismatic, witty, charming, complimentary, and generous. And you can read that as, “Aw, this man really cares that I have a good time.” When, in reality, he may just be a woman hater who sees women as objects, there for his enjoyment, and smugly thinks, “I know what women like. They’re so simple. I’ll just work my charms to get in their good graces and get their guard down.” You can see how the why behind that charming behavior quickly goes from nice to ill intended.

 

Some of the most notorious serial killers of women (yes, we’re going there) were also some of the most successful in attracting women. Ted Bundy. Charles Manson. But that just goes to show that men who mean women harm also tend to know exactly how to draw them in. I’m not saying that your date there has the capacity to kill, but, then again, we never know how far the rage of a man who feels spurned by women will go. Doesn’t it seem that so many wars and so much violence is just the result of some dude who couldn’t get laid? There’s nothing more dangerous than a rejected man.

 

If you sense that your date hates women, get out of there now. Don’t stick around, hoping to change his views about women. Don’t hope you’ll be the one to prove him wrong. That dude needs therapy and you need to protect yourself. You alone cannot turn that situation around and you just need to look out for yourself. So, here are signs that your date hates women.

 

via GIPHY

His impressions of women are offensive

When he does an impression of a woman he knows—whether it’s a boss, a neighbor, a sister, or even a friend—the impression is rather insulting. He does that voice that many male comics do when impersonating a woman. You know the one. Apparently they think all women sound like drunk sorority girls.

via GIPHY

He uses certain words to describe them

When he speaks of some women he’s not happy with—maybe a difficult coworker or a landlord—he uses those words. B*tch. The C-word. Wh*&e. I don’t even want to write them. But throughout the date, he uses those words—and with quite a bit of rage in his voice—to describe a woman he’s dealing with in his life.

via GIPHY

He makes blanket statements about women

He’ll say things about women, at large, that he believes are true of all women. “You know how women are. They just love money” or “You know how women are. They can be flaky.” “Women love this place.” “Women always do that.” He believes he has women all figured out.

via GIPHY

Those statements aren’t flattering

His blanket statements about women are not flattering. He doesn’t say things like, “Women are so strong,” or “Women are so compassionate.” If he speaks about women, at large, it’s to say something not-so-nice. He even has a way of turning positives into negatives. Like he may bring up that women are caretakers, and then add, “It’s why they get walked all over. It’s their own fault.”

via GIPHY

He’s condescending to the female staff

The female bartender, server, or manager. When they ask if you two are doing okay, he says, quite rudely, “We’re fiiiine. Can’t you see we’re talking?” He calls your server sweetheart and doll. If your server just double checks something he said, he looks annoyed, and even says something like, “It’s not that complicated.” Between the restaurant he chooses and how he interacts with the staff, you can tell a lot about a man.

via GIPHY

He dismisses other women

In general, he dismisses other women you two encounter on the date. Your Uber driver or the restaurant host tries to just make friendly small talk with you two. He gives a short, “Ha” and turns right back to you, making it very clear he isn’t talking to that other women. Even if he can pretend to pay attention to you, he can’t hide the fact that he generally ignores women.

via GIPHY

He checks you aren’t a ‘crazy feminist’

He makes some comment like, “You aren’t one of those crazy feminists, are you?” when you happen to make a small comment about liking a female leader or disliking some brand that hasn’t been good to women. He might even make a joke about the #MeToo movement. He’ll touch your hand, you’ll move it, and he’ll say, “Oh great, don’t go all MeToo on me.”

via GIPHY

He blames your gender for your tardiness

If you’re running a bit late, he says, “That’s okay. I know how women can be. Must have been doing your hair.” Maybe you can’t decide what you want to order and he says, “It’s alright. I’m used to women being indecisive.” Any little quirk or flaw you display, he blames your gender for it.

via GIPHY

He gives nasty reviews of exes

If you ask about his exes, he speaks about them with great disdain. He really goes to town, telling you what awful, disgusting humans they were. Maybe they were, and maybe they weren’t. But men who don’t hate women usually don’t talk about their exes this way.

via GIPHY

He doesn’t respect his mother

He says very rude things about his mom. Maybe he doesn’t talk to his mom. Or, maybe he is the caretaker of his mom because she is a bit dysfunctional, and he clearly resents the role. Either way, he doesn’t show a lot of respect or admiration when talking about his mother. That’s usually where the women hating all begins for these guys.

via GIPHY

He laughs at your opinions

When you share your opinions on all sorts of things—world politics, social issues, economics—he gives a disdainful laugh. He clearly thinks your ideas are dumb. And then, when he combats your idea, he does so in this very dismissive manner—barely looking up from the bite of food he’s making, waving his hand in the air when he says why you’re wrong, and changing the subject. It’s not even a discussion. It’s him lowering the gavel, saying, “What I say is correct” and moving on.

via GIPHY

Your discomfort makes him smug

If he says or does something that makes you uncomfortable—maybe he makes a sexual innuendo, makes a rude joke, or touches you in a way you don’t want—he smirks. He doesn’t apologize. He doesn’t ask if you’re okay. He seems to get some sick pleasure out of making you uneasy. If you’re uncomfortable, he tells you that you’re overreacting—he doesn’t take the blame for your reaction.

via GIPHY

He belittles successful women

If a successful woman comes up in conversation—a politician, a CEO, an author—he belittles her. You start to realize that, you can bring up any impressive woman, and he’ll find something negative to say about her. He’ll find a way to bring her down a peg. He’ll only point out something she’s done wrong, or why her success wasn’t earned.

via GIPHY

He mocks other women in the venue

Maybe there is a woman with a loud laugh, or a low-cut dress, or an emotional support dog on her lap. He mocks her. He rolls his eyes. He spends some of the date just criticizing other women in the room. Again, even though he can try to pretend to like women for you for a bit, he can’t hide his general disdain of them. It sneaks out.

via GIPHY

He overreacts to your mistakes

If you respond to one text while on the date, are five minutes late, change your mind about what you’d like to order, or make the tiniest mistake, he overreacts. He gets very angry—unreasonably so. “Do you have to take your phone out? Really? Do I not matter at all? Gotta check the likes on that selfie so badly huh?” He completely flies off the handle.