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Frugal is one thing. Frugal is good. It’s important to save money. Even those who have a lot of money will often tell you the reason they have it is they are frugal. If you don’t have a huge income, one way to get around that is to save as many of the dollars you do have coming in and investing those. And even if you have a big income, it’s important to value your money and know what things should cost. You don’t want to be the dumb-dumb who hands over $75 for a simple white t-shirt or pays a $200 upcharge for the VIP experience at a club, which really just means one free glass of champagne and a guaranteed chair. Being smart with money and paying attention to what things should cost is good. But there is a line between being frugal and being cheap. I won’t even say it’s a fine line because it’s actually a pretty massive border. It’s pretty obvious to everyone else on which side of the border you stand.
I understand needing to stick to a budget, but sometimes you need to ask yourself: is it really worth behaving like this, all to save a few bucks? When you start thinking and living cheap, you can start to have a rather self-centered mindset when it comes to money, not realizing how often your friends are freely generous with you, expecting nothing in return. And there you are, keeping track of every stick of gum they owe you for, while they often treat you to drinks and dinner without ever asking for a penny in return. If you’re going to have a social life and be liked, you’re going to have to just charge some of the spending to the game. Otherwise, you’ll be the cheap friend.
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You track who bought a round
When out with friends, everybody keeps taking turns buying rounds of drinks. Now you’re at the last bar, it’s your turn to buy a round, and you realize one person in your group hasn’t yet bought a round. So you ask that single person to pay you back for his drink, or you point out, “I’m not getting you one because you haven’t bought a round yet.”
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You itemize a nearly even bill
When you have dinner with friends, everyone suggests just splitting the bill evenly. But you itemize it, counting up what you spent, and realize that, by splitting it, you’ll pay for $6 of someone else’s food. So you don’t want to split the bill evenly. Really? Over $6?
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Friends take over the tip
When it’s time to calculate the tip, you notice your friends just grabbing the bill and hiding it from you. They add a tip and quickly hand it to the server. They know you can be cheap about the tip, and don’t want you screwing over your hard-working server.
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You’re that restaurant customer
You’re that customer who points out that one tiny thing was wrong with your meal so you think it should be removed from the bill. You also think you should get at least a free appetizer or cocktail for the inconvenience of waiting for the restaurant to make you something new. You see your friends cringe when you make these requests.
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You get paid back for everything
You ask friends to pay you back for the little stuff like a bottle of water, a bag of chips, the few bucks they needed to pay the cash-only taco truck, and things like that. Meanwhile, they cover you all of the time and never ask for money back for those little things.
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You host a dinner party but make very little
On the rare occasion that you do host a dinner party—or any sort of gathering—your food and beverage offerings are slim to none. You invite everyone over for “dinner” but you ask one friend to bring sides, one to bring dessert, and one to bring something to put on the grill. Hold on…what are you making?
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You don’t bring much as a guest
When you’re invited somewhere as a guest, you bring the cheapest gift you can. You bring a $5 bottle of wine, while your hosts probably spent a good deal of money to feed you. You bring a half-consumed bottle of vodka from your cabinet. Or a bag of chips.
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You’re particular about cab fare
If you’re splitting a cab, Uber, or Lyft with friends, you pay close attention to who is paying what. Maybe you split a cab with one friend, but technically, 65-ish percent of the ride was dedicated to getting her home, so you point that out and ask if she can pay for more of it.
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Grocery runs with you are a nightmare
You don’t make grocery shopping with friends easy. You’re nitpicking everyone’s choices. You want them to get the non-organic chicken because it’s $3 less. You don’t let anyone get even one name brand thing, even if it’s something tiny. You force everyone to get the items that are on sale. Even if you don’t like to pay too much for something, when grocery shopping with friends, you may need to loosen up a bit.
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You try to get free labor
When you need a certain service done—like a haircut or accounting—you go to a friend and ask for a freebie. Look, even if they offer to do it for free, the right thing to do is throw them some cash. Everyone knows that that’s what’s appropriate when a friend does something she usually does for, say, $300 for free for you.
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But you won’t offer friends a discount
Meanwhile, when you work for a friend, you barely give them a discount. Maybe you, for example, are an accountant. You do your friends’ taxes and give her a…five percent discount. Seriously? Is raking in that extra cash on your end worth looking selfish to a friend?
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You make everyone schedule for happy hour
You force everyone to eat early so you can catch the happy hour prices. Everyone is enjoying themselves and chatting at the table, but you’re a drill sergeant, barking at everyone “We have to order now if we’re going to get this last round of drinks on happy hour!” You won’t just let them relax.
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And for matinee prices
You also make everyone schedule social outings around matinee prices. You pressure friends into seeing the 5pm movie—they’re rushing there from work, stressing out, all to save $4. You make everyone commit to getting tickets to the concert now because tickets go up by $10 in a week.
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You’re sneaking stuff in
You bring a flask to a nice bar. You bring your own avocado to a sandwich shop. You bring your own popcorn to the movie. You have gotten in trouble for doing these things, and sometimes that’s even gotten your friends who were willing to pay for these things, in trouble, too.
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People stop inviting you out
You’ve become increasingly aware that your friends have started going to lunch, brunch, the movies, concerts, and on trips without you. They never invited you. Plenty of things have happened to which you have not been invited. They’re probably tired of dealing with your cheap ways.
