Can Therapists Break Up With Their Clients?

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Everyone that enrolls in psychotherapy is not ready to do the work. Many don’t realize that once the weekly session is over and you walk out of your therapist’s office, it is your responsibility as the client to continue to work on the goals or address the problems discussed during your session. The therapeutic relationship between the client and therapist is supposed to promote change; however, if there is no positive change then what happens to the relationship? Can the therapist end it? The answer is yes. Here’s a few valid reasons for therapists to decide to break up with their clients.

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When The Therapist Is Working Harder Than The Client

The therapist’s primary role is to provide support and be the client’s agent of change. If the client is not actively working on the goals discussed in therapy while the therapist is helping identify resources and is more motivated for change than the client then there is a problem. As a psychotherapist,  I’ve worked with clients who have been my clients for a few years that have inconsistently pursued goals and have not changed and I have had to confront them about it. Therapy is about progression not regression and stagnation. If there is a lack of change, it must be discussed so you both can figure out why there has not been any success.

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The Client Needs A Higher Level Of Care 

Sometimes therapists have to face that they cannot help a client meet their needs. At times, we work with clients for a significant amount of time and then we realize they need more than what we can give them. There have been times I’ve had to end the therapeutic relationship because my client needed a more intense program or even needed residential treatment. Clients with severe mental illnesses need more than a 45- minute session a week with their therapist because their symptoms are too overwhelming for them to manage in their daily life. It’s the therapist’s duty to realize and tell the client that they need more than what they can offer and refer them to an appropriate program.

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The Client Is Non-Compliant 

Not attending psychotherapy sessions consistently will be a major barrier to not only developing a working relationship with your therapist but also alleviating the stress in the client’s life. Especially if the client is supposed to be seeing a psychotherapist and psychiatrist simultaneously.  There is no way the treatment will be effective if the client is not showing up. If the client isn’t coming,  the relationship must end.

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The Client Continues To Be Self-Destructive 

Self-destructive behaviors, like smoking weed, fighting, unprotected sex and stealing for example, feel good in the moment but put the clients at risk for arrest, injury and other consequences. It’s important to meet the client where they are and figure out the role of these behaviors in the beginning. As time goes on, the work will consist of replacing these negative coping behaviors with positive behaviors that help the client manage and don’t put them at risk. The client has to be wiling to stop these behaviors though. If the client shows that they aren’t willing to replace these behaviors and engage in healthy coping skills then it must be discussed. If it is hindering them improving and they continuously resort to these behaviors then the relationship may have to be terminated.