How To Keep Life From Feeling Too Serious

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finding happiness in life

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We can all get so caught up in the tasks in front of us, or tomorrow’s goals, or yesterday’s disappointments. As humans, we are very goal-oriented. We’re all about the destination. We forget the funny irony that all of these “destinations” are just things we make up, but the real destination is, well, let’s just say it involves six feet of dirt. Though it can be hard to pull myself out of focusing on all the little things I have to do every day—because I’m very stubborn—every time I do take the time to lighten up, I’m so glad that I did. In fact, and unexpectedly, remembering how little most of the things we worry about actually matter somehow helps me do a better job at those very things. If we don’t step back and just laugh a little at life, we can get so tense—so stressed—that we make mistakes, we misstep, we handle relationships in a way we aren’t proud of. Aren’t your favorite people the ones who always manage to laugh and smile, no matter what is going on? You’re drawn to those people. There is an electricity about them. They’ve figured it out: none of this really matters, but in a really beautiful way.

Life is just a journey that you can enjoy or make miserable for yourself. And the key to enjoying it is not taking it too seriously. More specifically, not taking yourself too seriously is a big part of it. But I understand that that’s easier said than done. Life pulls you back in. It distracts you and consumes you and feels serious. But there are some things you can do—some habits you can keep up and activities you can integrate into your life—that guarantee some much-needed levity on a regular basis. Here are ways to keep life from feeling too serious.

Take a “useless” class

Not one that will improve your career-related skillset or even boost your life skills, like accounting or car repairs. Take a totally silly class that doesn’t really help any practical area of your life. It could be salsa dancing or paper doll making or sculpting. Anytime you’re in the position of being the student—the learner—you feel young again.

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Have adventurous friends

Find friends who aren’t so pompous that they can’t go to eat at hole-in-the-wall spots, or won’t attend quirky, grass roots events. Find friends who are down to try new things, even if those things are a bit odd or not part of their usual interests. Find friends who will do it for the story.

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Find friends who love to riff

I find that people fall in two groups during social-setting conversations: there are the adults, and the others. The adults are all about the destination in a conversation. They want to solve the issue or come to some conclusion. The others are the ones for whom, they don’t care what you talk about—they just want to find a way to crack jokes and be playful in conversation. Be friends with those people.

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Go to comedy shows

It may seem obvious, but attending comedy shows regularly can add levity to your life. Comedians can make even the heaviest of subjects and the biggest embarrassments funny. That’s their job. They have a way of reminding you that there’s always humor to be found.

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Make fun of yourself

When you make a mistake, when you fail, when you mess up, laugh at yourself. Find the humor in your quirks and flaws. Learn from them, but find the humor in them, too. It does you no good to get all worked up about something that’s already done now. Finding the humor in it loosens you up and helps you learn from it.

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Find a partner who can tease you

Find a partner who understands you and has a loving way of teasing you and pointing out your flaws. If you can find that person, you’re set for life. And find a partner who can take it when you tease his flaws, too. You two will keep each other growing.

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Attend community events

There is something so endearing about community events. Those are humans who are putting something on—like a show or parade—just to make their neighbors happy. They’re doing it simply because it makes them happy, and not for accolades or fame. It’s good to be around that sort of energy.

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Start a passion Instagram account

Start an Instagram account dedicated solely to something that makes you happy, like good food, couture, dogs, funny memes, travel, the beach—something that has nothing to do with your overall goals but just brings you simple joy. There’s something very fulfilling about dedicating a space to just that.

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Text friends about nothing at all

Have a text thread going with your friends in which you just text each other funny things that happen throughout the day. Text them stories about you embarrassing yourself. Send them photos of things you find hilarious. They’ll send the same back to you, and this will be an ongoing source of levity throughout the day.

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Keep things in perspective

When you feel disappointed by something, take a step back, and ask yourself how much this will really affect your day-to-day experiences. Most things don’t, it turns out. It’s just important to remember how small most of our problems are and to keep things in perspective.

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Travel often

This wonderful and interesting thing happens when you travel: you realize how enormous the world is and how many people have absolutely no idea who you are, or that you messed up at work, or even that that little achievement happened. It’s sobering and humbling at the same time.

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Watch blooper reels

Blooper reels of famous…musicians, actors, politicians, news anchors, athletes…are great to watch because they remind you that some of the people we respect most and who are tremendously successful also mess up. Not only do they mess up, but people forget about it eventually.

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Have pets

There’s something about watching animals become overjoyed by simply running through a yard, playing with a toy, or wrestling with a friend. If they can get so much joy from such simple things, why can’t we? They don’t know anything about taxes or divorce or traffic. It can be good to tap into their energy.

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Be around kids

Children have a similar effect that animals do. They have zero self-conscious bones in their bodies. They just want to eat ice cream, see their friends, nap, cuddle, pet the dog, or do whatever impulse comes up. They’re made so happy by such simple things and are so honest. Be around them more.

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Entertain others

It can be really useful to take the focus off how you make yourself happy, and instead put it on how you make others happy. Aim to entertain others. That could be through hosting dinner parties or game nights, or calling the bingo game at a retirement community. When you make others smile or laugh, you feel like a success.

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