Good Reasons To Have A Long Engagement

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Within weeks of getting engaged, I began to feel immense pressure to plan a wedding within a year’s time. Some of the pressure came from family, some of it from my religious upbringing, and some from the fear that if we didn’t tie the knot within a year, people would think something was wrong. In my mind, longer engagements were a bad omen. Hindsight, however, is 20/20 and while I’m happy with the way everything turned out in the end, I may have done things a little differently, like opt for a slightly longer engagement. Why, you may ask?Here are a few perfectly valid reasons for having an extended engagement.

You’re a meticulous planner

When you’re a diligent and careful planner, attempting to coordinate a wedding in a year or less can feel nearly impossible. There are an inordinate number of moving parts to consider — especially if you don’t intend to hire a planner. If you’d prefer to take your time and focus on the details and your partner is okay with it, you should opt for a longer engagement. There’s no rule that says engagements should only last a year and you’ll save yourself from the stress of rushed planning.

You need to get your finances together

You know what will be really magical? Walking out of your wedding venue knowing that you and your spouse don’t owe a dime for the stunning celebration you just pulled off. There’s no point in going into debt over a celebration that lasts just one day when you have the rest of your life to think about. Forty-three percent of couples go into debt to pay for their weddings. That means close to 50 percent of us ain’t really got it. There’s no shame in taking the time to get your finances together. It’s a much better alternative to jumping out of the window and running up a bill for a party that you can’t afford.

You’d like to spend time enjoying being engaged and less time stressing about a wedding

Oftentimes, we’re so fixated on moving to the next stage of life that we forget to enjoy the present moment. There’s beauty in being engaged to the love of your life and more of us should take the time to actually enjoy it. Unfortunately, we’re often too bogged down by the stresses of wedding planning to truly appreciate this stage in our relationships. The thing is, you won’t get this time back and once you’re married, you’ll never have this unique experience again. By extending your engagement, you give yourself more time to be happily engaged.

There are aspects of your relationship that need to be worked through

Just because your partner proposed doesn’t mean the issues that existed in your relationship before you said “yes” will magically disappear. And that’s okay. No relationship is perfect. Having doubts or concerns is a good reason to extend your engagement. Take the extra time to work through your issues with the help of a professional marriage counselor. Research shows that couples who seek premarital counseling experience a marriage success rate that is 30 percent higher than couples who don’t.

You have other things to accomplish before tying the knot

A recent survey conducted by Life Happens, a nonprofit organization devoted to helping consumers take personal financial responsibility, found that 53 percent of Americans are delaying life milestones such as marriage in order to establish financial security. If there are things you’re trying to accomplish to build a solid foundation for your family’s future such as finishing school, paying down debt, or even cleaning up your credit, it’s 100 percent okay to extend your engagement until you’ve accomplished these goals.