How To Make A House A Home Quickly
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When you’re moving to a new place, you can be so focused on where you’re going that you forget what you’re leaving behind. I know that’s what just happened with my partner and me. We were walking away from a rent-controlled apartment, into a much better, upgraded in so many ways condo, and all we could think about was the new space. For the weeks leading up to the move, we were giddy talking about the in-unit washer and dryer and the gorgeous hardwood floors of the new place. We were even chastising our old place a bit, pointing out all of the things we always found frustrating about it. Our new home was like this beacon of light and hope. And then, we moved in, and I felt…sad.
I missed the old place, but how could that be? What did that place have that this new place doesn’t have? Certainly not granite counter tops and incredible water pressure. Nope. The old place didn’t have that. It didn’t have 400 extra square feet, either. So why was I missing that place? Oooooh. It’s not about what kind of literal house it was. It isn’t about the floor materials or the water pressure. It was a home. It was our home. And we’d spent years making it that way. Whatever condition the place was in, it was our place. We had our spots where we ate Thai food on the floor while watching TV. We knew all of our neighbors. We don’t have that at the new place. As if buying the place wasn’t emotional enough, now moving in was making us sad.
When your house doesn’t feel like a home, your life can feel all out of whack. You need that home base to return to, and until you make your house a home, it’s just like any of the other impersonal places you visit every day. You need that place that you go to, where you let out a sigh of relief. I’m home. If you just moved and are struggling to find that, here are ways to make a house a home, quickly.
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Say goodbye to the old place
It’s important to fully say goodbye to the old place. Sit down with your partner or whomever you moved with, and really talk about the great memories you made there. Thank the place. Take a visual walk through it, recalling what you did in each room. Honor the place, so you don’t feel like you just abandoned it, and so you can feel ready to move onto the new space.
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Have friends over
It’s called a house warming for a reason, and it’s because our loved ones make our homes feel warm. A house is really just a space we can enjoy friends and family, after all, so get them in there as soon as possible. Once you see those familiar faces in this new home, you’ll tell your subconscious that this is home now.
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Meet your neighbors
Make an effort to meet your new neighbors. Introduce yourself when you see them. Some may not be friendly, but some will. Go to your walkable grocery store, bar, liquor store, pharmacy, or Farmer’s market and meet the people who work there. These will be your people for a long time!
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Add your favorite scents
Smells are powerful at bringing out certain emotions and memories, so if you have a scent that, to you, evokes feelings of home, bring it out. Maybe it’s a candle or a spray or some incense. If you walk into your new place and it smells like your old place, or perhaps your childhood home, that will really make the place feel more welcoming.
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Hang up mirrors
This doesn’t only add visual intrigue and make the place look bigger, but it also does this psychological trick: it helps you literally see yourself in the place more. You’ll catch glimpses of your reflection while you’re walking around, and you’ll begin to register that this is the place you lay your head at night and make your meals.
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Have your “spaghetti night”
Or nacho night. Lasagna night. Taco night. You and your partner, roommate, family, or whomever you live with—or friends who visit, if you live alone—have your traditions. You did them in the old place, so do them in the new place. Have your game night. Have your monthly potluck.
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Put up your photos
This is another element of seeing your self, literally, in the new place. Get those photos up of you, your family, your friends, your partner, your dog—your tribe. Get them up sooner rather than later. Maybe you could have some on a small table by the front door, so they’re the first things you see when you walk in.
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Put family heirlooms on display
Those hand-painted plates your grandmother gave you. The gorgeous champagne flutes passed down from your relatives. That painting your mom’s mom gave her, and that she gave you. Put these things on display. This house is a new place to honor your ancestors, and tell their story, and doing that will make it feel like home.
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Get rid of blah items
This is a great time to finally get rid of those items that don’t really elicit many feelings, or perhaps even elicit bad feelings. You don’t need those around you. Be precious about what you keep in your home. Only hang onto things that really make you feel happy when you look at them, and get rid of the rest.
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Liven up forgotten corners
Entryways. Hallways. That little nook in the kitchen that doesn’t have anything. Liven these up with ottomans, photos, and plants. It’s important that every corner of your house feels like it’s been touched by you, rather than just created by an architect and built by a construction team.
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Make your bed your oasis
Liven up your bed. Put a lot of work into making it look incredibly welcoming and feel super cozy. You begin and end your day in that bed. When you get into it, it should feel like it hugs you, and when you wake up, you should be happy to see it. Add decorative pillows, soft throw blankets at the foot of it, and other items that will make it feel like your oasis.
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Bring in the nature
If you don’t think you can keep a real plant alive (I know I can’t), there are some very authentic-looking fake plants on the market today. Just bring some greenery into your home. Looking at nature is calming, and helps us feel more connected to the literal earth on which we stand. Without it, a space is all cement and tile.
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Add throw pillows and blankets
Toss some throw pillows and blankets on the couches, the reading chair, the ottoman, and any spot where people relax. These instantly make a place seem more welcoming. You may even have a throw blanket that was made for you by an older relative, so putting that out brings your ancestors into the space, too.
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Make a cozy reading nook
Have a little nook with a comfortable chair—maybe a reclining one—and put a really soft blanket over there. Add a side table, with a lamp that puts out warm light. Put your favorite, most comforting books on that table. You can always go sit there and reconnect with who you are.
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Get out the mementos
Those little lotions you took from the hotel in your recent vacation. That funny antique clock you bought on a road trip. The mugs you had in your first apartment. Bring out the mementos. They’re the story of your life, in physical objects, which is just what this home will soon become, too, so start blending them together.
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